Trust and Acknowledgement in Swinger Couples

Let’s talk about how we talk about each other’s separate dating lives! Both John and Jackie go on dates separately with other people – and they tell each other all about it! How do you build trust and acknowledgement to be comfortable with that? See how their relationship has progressed to this because it didn’t happen overnight!

3 Comments

  • Cat Micallef says:

    Xoxoxo. Excellent topic Trust & Acknowledgement. It takes time to build trust and being able to share with your partner takes time as well, they go hand in hand.

  • Di T says:

    So does it get uneasy if one or the other is spending too much time with someone, or going on continued dates with one specific person? Not changing it up.

    • Jackie Melfi says:

      Hi Di T,
      John and I have both been on multiple dates with people in the past. For John and I, the success in this seems to be in the honest communication we share with each other regarding these residual dates. I recall one woman in particular that John seemed to bond with. They would go to dinner or for coffee or he would bring her to the house for a more intimate gathering. I’m sure initially, my brain fought against how I was raised. Those moments when the fear surfaces. The fear that maybe he would like her better than me or maybe she was prettier than I was. All those thoughts we have been taught to have because of the teaching, we “belong” to each other. But I learned early on in this relationship, not to fall into the fear pit. Instead I responded from a positive stance. This woman wasn’t my adversary, she was someone my husband connected with. Someone he enjoyed spending time with. She brought something to his life that made him smile. I shutter to think how different this story would have unfolded had I been coming from a place of fear…if I had allowed myself to be “threatened” by her. For one, I would have missed out on meeting a fantastic woman. A woman who was kind and sweet, with an easy smile. She was a wonderful woman, of course John would like her…I liked her too! As a matter of fact, not only did I like her, but I allowed myself to like her. I didn’t have to come at these outings she was taking with my husband from any kind of fear. Not only was she providing a great friendship to my husband, but she gained friendships as well. She also had the opportunity to see a different kind of relationship. The other interesting thing I would come to find about these dates, were how much it solidified the love John and I had for each other. This solidifying of our love seemed so counter to how I had been raised to believe would be the result of opening up our marriage, but amazingly enough this openness only brought us closer. I can’t tell you how many times John would come home from one of these dates, bubbling over with love for me! This response wasn’t so much because I had “let” him go out, but more to do with sharing in each others lives from a place of authenticity.

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