Different Views About Sex And Unlearning Inhibitions

The journey of learning and unlearning beliefs and inhibitions when it comes to the swinger lifestyle.

5 Comments

  • Sahaja says:

    Enjoyed hearing about inhibitions couples harbor due to upbringing and restrictions on sexual freedom.prior to marriage. Some overcome and enjoy nonmonogamy and others do not. Good video John and Jackie.

  • Tim says:

    I have been watching your videos for last few months and having discussions with my wife about it. I really think most of your information applies to good marriages period…..I think swinging is not a bad thing but I will agree with this last video about beliefs and standards. it s perception in how you were raised.
    Keep up the conversations that you have I would love to hear more how she transition to the life style from a women perspective. There are lots of women who are interested in this but scared to speak and being open and in a relationship you can talk about stuff really eliminates quote cheating. I mean you can talk about it… and it makes you address issues in your relationship instead of avoiding them. Thanks for your videos and information its very good stuff…..no matter what we end up doing…..Love it….

  • Sahaja says:

    It is very true that upbringing has a dominant influence upon the couples’ attitude towards swinging. Many couples we are friends with are reluctant to swing with and swap mates for sexual activities. It does take time and proper circumstances for these inhibited couples to open up and try nonmonogamy which they actually enjoy. Once this happens, there is no turning back into strict monogamy. More couples than not actually want to hear about contrary views and actually do want to experience nonmonogamy where they are able to enjoy variety of sexual activities and varied partners for sexual fulfillment.

  • Rica says:

    I thank you for sharing. My husband and I are new to the lifestyle. He is a little more open to it as I am the hesitant one. He wants me to go full throttle sometimes, I tend to worry about what he would think and feel if I were with another man. It’s hard adjusting your mind around what you’ve known all these years.

  • Glenn says:

    This is such a great conversation! Thank you for so genuinely exhibiting the freedom about which you’re speaking. It’s really inspiring.

    One thing I would emphasize for anyone reading this comment who is early in the process of looking at this possibility for themselves is this: the price we pay for inhibition – for shutting down these vital elements of ourselves – extends miles beyond the simple forfeiture of this or that particular experience. The deep price we pay is that we can’t be open, trusting, vulnerable, and self-expressed in our most intimate relationships. This is unhealthy enough for the individual, but its effect on the relationship itself is even worse. Love is not something you feel so much as the active, committed acceptance and embrace of everything your partner is, and everything they are not. When a huge part of yourself is “off limits” to your wife/husband/lover and self, then the management of that region becomes a fault line in the relationship which starts as a crack and often grows into a chasm.

    The opportunity to do and experience some of the great stuff that people in open, loving and generous relationships can do is wonderful, no question about it. But the healing of that painful realm, the place you can’t talk about or go, least of all with the person to whom you have trusted everything, is miraculous. The “lifestyle”, in whatever form that may come to be or mean to us, is above all a chance to be free in our primary relationships, at a depth most people never experience. It is obviously not the only way, but in American culture at this particular place and time it is one possible way to find your way there.

    I am so grateful myself for having finally, after so many years living in the fear and shame of what turns out to be quite normal sexuality, to have nothing in my relationship I can’t share about openly. We do what we do, some of it is amazing, and there are things we may never do, but the freedom and the warmth and the trust of it – truly amazing. I didn’t think I could ever have that, and now I do. Thank you John and Jackie for making the difference you’re making. You guys are great!

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