Recently John and I did a news segment regarding swinging. I have always been open about my lifestyle and have come to realize that not everyone is afforded this same luxury. My question is what (if anything) keeps you from “coming out” so to speak about being a swinger?

I asked some friends that same question and here is one of the most popular answers:

We have told only a very very small number of our friends and family about our open marriage. I have found that many people are completely irrational (in my view) about sexuality. Furthermore, how a person would view openness and “sharing” does not seem to be predictable from any other set of beliefs the person may have.

In my experience, how people feel about the phenomenon of swinging or pursuing unusual practices tells me a great deal about how they view three things: sex, love, and themselves.

So the bottom line is that divulging to vanillas can lead to unexpected consequences and reactions that may be surprising — perhaps in a good way, but also in a bad way. We do not want to lose any good friends, or of course family members. And even if it is fine now, you never know how people can change.

So there are some that know. A few friends. Her brother. A neighbor that I ran into at a club. And we do not deny it if people ask us. But we keep it tight to the vest. Safety first.