Earlier this year, I came out to the world about something most people would keep to themselves: I have HSV-2, or what is commonly thought of as genital herpes. You can read all about it here, but the short version is that the diagnosis caused my main sexual partner at the time to freak out …
7 Steps to Having the Sexiest STI Disclosure Conversation Ever Read More »
This is a story of sex, shame, getting dumped, and real love. My first thought when I got my herpes diagnosis was, “Fuck, Brad’s gonna flip.” Brad was a boy I was seeing at the time, and although he’s pushing 50, the word “boy” definitely applies — as you’ll see when you read on. My second thought, …
“If you’re happy, I’m happy.” That’s compersion in a nutshell. If you’ve never heard the term before, you’re not alone. You won’t find it in any dictionary, and the only people who are familiar with it are those who’ve read up on polyamory. The common definition of compersion is a feeling of happiness or joy …
What the Hell is Compersion? And Why You Need It to Make Open Relationships Thrive Read More »
When John and Jackie Melfi invited me to be their guest at this year’s Naughty In N’awlins, an annual swingers’ convention that happens every summer in New Orleans, I was really excited and grateful. For one thing, I’d finally get to meet John and Jackie, this awesome couple who brought me on as an essayist …
What It’s Like to Be A Poly Unicorn At a Swinger Convention Read More »
I’m an openly polyamorous woman, and whenever I talk about my way of conducting romantic and sexual relationships with people who are used to monogamy, one of the most common arguments I get goes something like this: “But I’m a jealous person! I could never do what you do. Jealousy would totally ruin it. How …
How to Deal With Jealousy in Polyamorous Relationships Read More »
Okay, so you’re in a monogamous relationship, you love your partner, and everything is mostly awesome. Except there’s this one thing. And it’s so hard to talk about. After however many years of partnership you’ve enjoyed together, there’s something in you that craves more. More sex, different sex, more love, sexy flings, or maybe you’re …
How Do I Tell My Partner I Want an Open Relationship? Read More »
I was always a sucker for romance. I still am, but it used to be a rather unhealthy fixation. When I was a blossoming preteen (please note, I’m using the word “blossoming” with a scalding degree of sarcasm—I was the definition of awkward), I bought into every cultural trope about meeting The One and finding …
I Loved Them Both: My Journey from Culturally Programmed Monogamy to Expansive Polyamory Read More »
[Note: If you haven’t read Part I of this article, go back and check that out first. Otherwise, this shiz won’t make any sense. Smooches!] A year and a half into my relationship with Mr. Band Leader, I started realizing he was a pretty crappy boyfriend. He was constantly trying to prove to the rest …
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Going to a lifestyle club is one of the best ways to meet other like-minded people, but don’t make the mistakes that can turn a great night out into a complete DISASTER!
