By Jackie Melfi | OpenLove101

One of the things I love about traveling to lifestyle resorts like Hedonism 2 in Jamaica is how much you can learn just by observing. People from all over the world come together in one place, bringing with them different perspectives, styles, and expressions of sensuality.

On our most recent trip, I noticed something interesting — out of roughly 150 couples at the resort, I was one of the very few women who wasn’t completely clean-shaven “down there.” This difference made me curious. Why did so many women choose to be hairless?  Was it for comfort? Aesthetic preference? Or were they following trends shaped by what we think others expect?

The Influence of Culture and Media

For decades, society, the beauty industry — and particularly the media — has shaped what’s considered attractive. The rise of the porn industry popularized the clean-shaven look, presenting it as the norm. Over time, this filtered into everyday beauty standards. Somewhere along the way, the natural look became something to hide or “fix.”

But when you pause and think about it, grooming preferences are deeply personal. They can be influenced by culture, by comfort, or by what makes someone feel most confident. There’s no right or wrong approach — only what feels authentic to you.

My Experience at Hedonism

What I found fascinating was how people responded to my natural look. Several men at the resort — many with partners who were clean-shaven — approached me to say how refreshing it was to see a woman embracing her natural self. They called it beautiful, even bold.

What I took from those conversations wasn’t that one style is “better” than another. It was that authenticity is magnetic. When we own our choices with confidence, people notice. 

John, of course, had his own take on it. He told me he loved the way I looked and enjoyed watching others appreciate it, too. We both realized that comfort — whether it’s in your skin, your hair, or your relationship — is one of the sexiest things a person can wear.

What Do People Really Prefer?

Later, John shared a poll he’d seen showing that 44% of men prefer their partners to be clean-shaven. I couldn’t help but wonder about the other 56%. Do they prefer something more natural? A little in between? Or maybe they don’t have a strong preference at all?

We both agreed that most of these polls are based on “vanilla” couples — meaning they may not reflect the swinger or open community’s attitudes. Within the lifestyle, people tend to be more open-minded and less bound by social convention. Personal choice often carries more weight than perceived expectations.

That’s why we decided to create our own community poll through OpenLove101 — to see what lifestyle couples really think about grooming.

Embracing Choice and Confidence

Here’s what I believe: how we groom our bodies should be a choice made from self-love, not pressure. Whether you prefer a clean shave, a full bush, or something in between, it’s about what makes you feel sexy and confident in your own skin. We should never feel pressure to conform based on what another does. 

In the lifestyle, where acceptance and exploration are central, these choices can spark great conversations about individuality, attraction, and body positivity. After all, embracing your uniqueness — from your personality to your pubic hair — is part of what makes this community so beautifully diverse.

Final Thoughts

Our trip to Hedonism reminded me that confidence always outshines conformity. Trends come and go, but how you feel about yourself lasts. So whatever your grooming preference may be, own it. Celebrate it. And most importantly, remember that attractiveness starts with authenticity.

If you’d like to share your thoughts or join our poll on this topic, visit OpenLove101.com and sign up for our newsletter. We’d love to hear your perspective and continue this open, body-positive conversation together.