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How to Rock Your Open Relationship Like a Celebrity

By June 16, 2015 August 14th, 2017 Swinger Celebrities

So now you and your significant other have decided to give the swingers lifestyle or open relationship a go. Well, it appears you will be in good, if not famous company. Just like I wrote about last week regarding the open relationship of Will and Jada Pinkett Smith, according to another recent article several power couples have been open about their open relationships. But what can we learn from them?

1. Jealousy does not have to be present in a relationship:

My favorite quote from Tilda Swinton (The Grand Budapest Hotel), “I am very fortunate there has been a lot of understanding by the men.” This comment shows that when communication and honesty are paramount in a relationship then any issue (including jealousy) can be a jumping off point to deeper bonding and understanding. Jealousy does not have to be an issue if we don’t want it to be.

2. It doesn’t always have to be 50/50:

Just like with Megan Fox and Austin Green, not every relationship has to be an “even Steven” arrangement. In some couples, one partner is super keen on playing while the other prefers to watch. Some couples decide their partner can have a regular play partner while the other maybe doesn’t feel the need. This is why I love the open relationship concept and all it entails…each couple has the magical responsibility to cater the relationship to fit whatever each is comfortable with.

3. Cheating gets replaced with sharing:

What a wonderful way to live life! We are taught (well at least most of us) that sharing is good not only for others but for ourselves…why we think that should be any different when it comes to our partner I have no idea. Well, actually I do have an idea, it’s because we are taught as we get older to gather possessions and unfortunately most of society dumps spouse into the possession pile. This is another reason why cheating has become so rampant (and unfortunately accepted) in society…look, people are naturally drawn to others no matter the sex of the other person…it is in our nature. So if we can learn (as these celebrities have) to see the beauty and embrace this instinct we can open ourselves up to the joys of boundless love.

swinger couple

4. Swinging and open relationships stand the test of time:

Some couples work and some couples don’t, whether they have an open relationship or a more traditional relationship. The ones that do work though, work because they honor their commitment to each other, whatever that commitment is. Just look at Dolly Parton and her husband Carl Dean they have been together almost 50 years, and enjoying the benefits of an open relationship. Remember, your relationship to each other is defined by those commitments you have put in place, honor them and you are well on your way to success.

5. The relationship can be fluid:

What I love about all these celebrities and others in the swing/open lifestyle is they seem to understand that a relationship grows and matures, they don’t try to pigeonhole the union into a tiny definition. We see couples celebrate their partners freedom and use it to the advantage of the partnership. When I can be happy for John’s happiness, when he can share with me an experience that brought him joy and he does the same for me then we have transcended ourselves into a glimpse of unconditional love…and isn’t that what we are all striving for anyway?

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5 Comments

  • Roxi says:

    Thank you very much for this article. My partner is into recreational sex and I, though willing to accommodate him, am struggling with this. I feel this is because it makes me feel I am not enough for him. I want to love him enough to be comfortable with sharing him and your articles are helping me gain insight. So again thank you very much

  • Jackie of Openlove101 says:

    Hi Roxi,
    Thank you so much for taking the time to share some feedback with me. I believe one of the biggest myths today is that we are “less then” somehow if we open up a relationship to sharing. We are so ingrained to believe that we are the only person our partner can ever be with…and that is simply not how we are designed. The second biggest myth is that love and sex are the same thing. Nope. What I find most intriguing about the relationship with John and I, is my love for John actually grows the more I let go and share…because really I’m saying I love who you are completely. Thanks again for writing, and I love to see your commitment to having the best partnership possible.

  • Michael says:

    I’m really having a hard time with this. My GF was into this before we met and wants me to do this with her. It makes me feel less valued, inadequate and I feel guilty in many ways.

    I don’t understand it. I don’t have a burning desire to sleep with other women and she keeps pushing me on them.

    I’m trying to do this for her and she gave me an ultimatum about it. Can you point me to a resource that will allow me to get to a neutral place so this isn’t so unpleasant?

  • Jackie Melfi says:

    Dear Michael,

    First of all, thank you for taking the time to write, and thank you for being open enough to reach out for help.

    I know from personal experience the emotional overload that can take place when first navigating through opening up a relationship. Since most of us grew up only being exposed to monogamous relationships it can be difficult initially to know what to expect and what is expected as we gain the tools necessary to handle the emotions brought to the surface by this new relationship dynamic.

    Like you, my partner had been exposed to the lifestyle before me, so it took some time and patience on the part of John while I maneuvered my way through. This step was imperative, because I needed to know that opening up our relationship through swinging was going to be enhancing and an asset, not a deficit. I received this confirmation through John’s patience. Even though opening the relationship through swinging was exciting and new and different it was also a little scary. Will John really be okay with me being with someone else? Will I be okay with John being with someone else? Is it really possible to be in love with my partner if we swing? These were questions that swirled around in my mind. So what did I do? I talked. I talked a lot to John. I talked about my fears and nervousness and questioned him about how it all worked. Then I took baby steps in the lifestyle. I remember well John scheduling “dates” for us and then having to turn around and cancel them because I became too nervous. Each time this happened, John would smile and say it was okay and let me know how much he loved me and how important I was to him…that he loved me regardless. These moments of affirmation really helped in putting my fears to rest. When we finally followed through with a date it was amazing, and I believe this is due to us taking the time to make sure both partners were ready.

    I recently finished reading, “The Jealousy Workbook-exercises and insights for managing open relationships” by Kathy Labriola. I would encourage you to take a look at it as well. It covers topics you listed in your email, guilt, feeling inadequate, issues with value, etc…

    I want to also point out that just because you elect to be in an open or swinging relationship, this doesn’t mean you have to “play” the same amount your partner plays. I know plenty of people in the lifestyle who are perfectly satisfied with their partner having playmates, while they watch. John and I for instance go on separate dates quite often. The point is to never agree to something you are not comfortable with doing. But it is also important to make sure the decisions you make are informed decisions. Take the time to see if the reasons you feel a certain way are because of a fear or because you really are not interested, allow yourself time to adjust to any changes.

    Remember this is about enhancing what should already be an incredible relationship, one based on trust, love, integrity, communication, and honesty. Relationships aren’t a race to some finish line, they are about the day to day exploration of the greatness within each of you…

    Jackie

  • Ulysses says:

    My concern is that one or both of us will no longer want to be a couple after opening the relationship. Does that mean that the relationship is not to be? Does that mean that we were not meant for each other?

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