Thinking About Sex Makes Me Go Crazy Overload

So I am trying to get into the habit of writing. Putting my thoughts on paper, no matter how jumbled, random, or disjointed they are.

Whenever I try to write about swinging or open relationships, my brain goes into overload. I have read so many books recently regarding swinging, monogamy, and open relationships that I have a hard time slowing my thoughts down long enough to get them on paper.

I am so excited and curious about my newfound knowledge that I almost don’t know how to start.

I was asked recently, “how is having an open/swinging relationship better then the more traditional relationships you have had in the past?”

So many things…I have been introduced to a level of honesty I never realized existed.

I have been introduced to an expression called compersion, which is the opposite of jealousy.

I have been introduced to a level of love that I can only describe as expanding.

What level of honesty am I talking about? That deep down, things you almost have a hard time telling yourself let alone someone else kind of honesty. The kind of honesty where your partner knows as much about you as you do. Where you can tell them every crazy, silly, scary, embarrassing, fearful, fanciful, dirty, funny, private, the hands over the face kind of reveal, the “I can’t believe I’m going to tell you this” kind of honesty. The tears rolling down your cheek, “I don’t know if you’ll be able to handle this” kind of honesty. The kind of honesty that risks everything in order to embrace everything…the privilege of being accepted into your partners inner most chamber of who they are.

The “this is EVERY single tiny molecule of who I am and how I want to live my life not only with myself but with you, my partner.

There is honor and sanctity in this honesty. That is the kind of honesty I have experienced since being in an open relationship.

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