In this episode, John and Jackie dive into the important topic of body image within the lifestyle community.

They share insights on how everyone, regardless of their appearance, can find a place and feel accepted in lifestyle clubs, parties, and events. John and Jackie discuss common concerns from those new to the lifestyle, emphasizing that attraction is diverse and subjective.

They highlight the inclusivity and acceptance found in lifestyle spaces, contrasting it with the often judgmental atmosphere of mainstream nightclubs. This episode is a must-listen for anyone feeling apprehensive about their appearance and considering joining the lifestyle community.

 

Transcript:

00:00
You want to find out if Jackie is anyone’s fantasy? Then check out this next video.

00:10
Hey guys, it’s John and Jackie of openlove101.com. Welcome to our show. And today we’re here to talk with you about body image. And we get these emails from people sometimes saying to us like, I look a certain way. Am I gonna fit in? Is anybody gonna find me attractive at the club? Is it a place I would wanna go? And ultimately the bottom line is with the

00:40
crowds of people that we have in a club or convention or party that you go to, there’s going to be somebody there that has an attraction to whatever you look like. Right babe? 100%. 100%. Hey everyone, it’s John and Jackie with OpenLove101.com. Thanks so much for joining us today. We are going to talk about body image. Yay! Our favorite thing to talk about. How much we love ourselves.

01:09
You know, it’s one of those things that we get especially from people that are brand new to the lifestyle They’re talking to their partner about it or you know Maybe they’re single and they’ve decided they want to branch out and do something different for themselves And so they want to come to a swingers club or they want to go to a house party they’ve been invited to a house party or you know, just whatever the situation is and the first thing that happens is they’re like

01:39
What am I gonna wear? Do I fit the part? Am I gonna look the part? Maybe they have their own stigmas about what people in a club or in that kind of a setting or in this kind of a relationship model look like. Maybe they think they have to be an absolute 10. They have to have gone to the gym every day. They gotta be eaten right. They gotta have…

02:06
Certain kind of hair they have to look like a playboy model essentially is what is in mind a lot of right? You gotta look like you just walked out of the GQ magazine exactly and which you do by the way. Thanks, babe But we’re here to talk about the fact that Everybody is gonna bring something to the table. Yes, everybody is We and we talked about this recently everybody is somebody’s

02:35
fantasy. And I think if we look at ourselves in that way, it can really help us maybe do away with some of our own stigmas. If you even take a look at yourself and maybe write down the things that you like or that you find attractive, or if you go to the mall or the airport the next time you’re

03:03
you’re there and you sit back and you look at all of these people that are walking by and you start pulling out positives from them. Like, oh, that guy’s got really beautiful eyes or that woman has a great smile. Or if you start focusing on the positives of what you bring to the table and maybe what you like, that can be one way to help get over maybe your own stigmas about what

03:32
the lifestyle invites in, you know, one of the things that I’ve always liked to say is swingers are just a slice of society. So you’re going to have everything. You’re going to have tall people, you’re going to have short people, you’re going to have thin people, you’re going to have heavier people, you’re going to have, you know, women that have junk in the trunk.

03:56
which is something I do not have, sometimes I wish I did. You’re gonna have every nationality, every ethnicity, every age group, adult speaking, but you cut your hair short, well, that’s one of the things that I like. But I also like…

04:19
men that have longer hair. It’s not just a one-size-fits-all kind of mentality. And I think sometimes those people that are new to the lifestyle are interested. They think it is. They think that they have to look a certain way, and you just don’t. Because here’s the thing. You realize that while, yes, maybe initially we look at physicalities of people,

04:50
But one of the things that the lifestyle offers is this opportunity to really get to know people and their personalities. You’re kind of placed in this environment where you get to learn who somebody else is in their character and how they are with their partner or the dreams that they have or the work that they do.

05:14
their family life. There’s a lot of things that you can learn about someone and you realize in learning about this other person that they can become, they can embrace a kind of beauty that has nothing to do with the physical side of who they are maybe.

05:38
You know, we definitely get a lot of emails from people that are concerned about their age, their body type, skin color sometimes. And the thing is that I think a lot of people that have never been to a club or a party have a misconception about who’s actually going to a lifestyle event or club.

06:09
The truth of the matter is that people, like you said, come from all walks of life that come to the club. So if you are in your mind a certain way, old and… Out of shape. Yeah, maybe you don’t work out, and you think there isn’t gonna be anyone else there like you or anyone else there that might be attracted to the kind of look that you have,

06:38
You’re probably wrong. There’s probably going to be someone there that fits, that you would fit their bill, or you would be, like you’d mentioned earlier, you would be someone they would fantasize about. And not everyone fantasizes about the women of Playboy and guys that are in GQ. They have a different style or type of person that they’re attracted to. And…

07:06
There’s such a melting pot of different people that come to any of our clubs and other clubs that we’ve been to. It’s for sure you’re going to run into someone there that’s going to be attracted to you and vice versa, you’ll be attracted to them. There have been so many times we’ve gone to an event or a party. For me, and I think for you too as well, Jackie, you were just touching upon it. It’s more than just the outside and how someone looks.

07:35
I wasn’t initially attracted to in that way, but after talking to them for a little while, I get excited. You know that, right? You’ve seen it happen. I’ve seen it happen. And I don’t think I’m alone in that. I think there are times where the personality of someone can be more attractive to me than the outside of someone that I may not just be initially attracted to on the street. So it definitely… Right.

08:02
If you’re out there and you’re having some qualms about going to a party because of the way you look, I would really work hard at trying to get past that. And, you know, Jackie mentioned going out to the mall or wherever you are and looking for people that you might find attractive and know that those same types of people are going to be at the clubs or a party. The other thing that’s important to remember about attending a club is there’s a heavy emphasis on body positivity.

08:32
Oh, that is true. Right. When I’ve gone to just a regular nightclub, there seems to be a little more of a judgment happening because there’s a… And this can happen especially with women. I hate to call us out, but we can be pretty brutal when it comes to hierarchies almost. Like, well, what does she think she’s wearing? What is she doing? I mean, I’ve had that happen in regular clubs.

09:00
And so one of the big differences I notice about attending a club that caters more to people in open relationships is this kind of coming together, this sisterhood, where we’re much more encouraging. Because you know, a lot of times women want to come in and something super sexy or they want to wear their lingerie. You know, there’s a lot of exposed skin. And that can be really intimidating.

09:27
if you feel like you don’t have anything to offer or to bring to the table or that you’re going to be made fun of or there’s going to be some kind of self-shame that you have. So to walk into an environment like that and have the other women come up to you and say, oh, look at you. I love that outfit. That’s so great. Look at you for being in love with yourself. And

09:55
If you don’t think that that doesn’t radiate out into who you are, just try it and see the difference. And so that is definitely one of the things that I can say that I know our club, for instance, it brings that to the table, is that you’re going to have this inclusion that maybe you might not have at other places. So it can really be worth trying.

10:23
And it can really be helpful that you realize like, yeah, you know, why not give it a try? For sure. So if you’re having any qualms about it Come on out go on out. Check it out Dress sexy and give it a try In the meantime, if you have other questions about the lifestyle, you can go to openlove101.com We have a ton of videos and articles on there about all different aspects of the lifestyle and relationships that you might find Can answer some of your questions

10:53
Check out our YouTube channel, sign up for our email list at openloved101.com and we’ll let you know when we have an upcoming blog or video that’s headed your way. Thanks for joining us today. See ya! Dang, I learned a lot from that video!