Several weeks ago, I had the privilege of meeting an incredible woman. She’s new to the lifestyle and we seemed to connect almost immediately. As we chatted, the topic of implants surfaced. I don’t recall if I’ve ever mentioned this before, but way back in 2004 I had breast implants. A decision 10 years in the making.
I remember all those years ago, vacillating back and forth between the ramifications of altering my body against the fact that I’d finally be able to fill out a sexy bit of lingerie. I researched doctors in my area and finally settled on a wonderful surgeon. The procedure for me went without any issues. I was pleased with the results and thankful for the doctor’s expertise.
Fast forward to 2020, and I am still in possession of those implants. I have not had any physical health issues (thank goodness) but I do find myself questioning my motivation all those years ago.
Why was I so turned off by my smaller breasts?
Why did I feel the need to fill out the bras and swimsuits and darted dresses?
Was I really less of a woman because I had tiny boobs?
Well, apparently back in 2004 I thought so. I believed I’d be more self assured if I looked like everyone else, I guess.
Were the implants transformative? For me, yes. For years, I embraced these saline filled sacs. I liked the way it changed my figure. I liked being able to finally purchase those sexy bras and lingerie. I liked the way I filled out a dress or blouse. When I’d decided to go ahead with my implants I chose to go conservative. Nothing crazy, just a solid B size. I’m slender by nature and I didn’t want to look out of balance, just a little help in taking my boobs back to pre-pregnancy size. Oh that’s the other piece of information I should include.
Before I got pregnant the first time I was a size B (is this all too much information? Oh well…) but after nursing, my boobs all but disappeared! I used to joke that my shoulder blades were bigger than my boobs. That my boobs had to write letters to keep in touch. All cover comments for the self consciousness I felt in having my boobs deflated and all but gone. Instead of accepting the body change, I hyper focused on it. I felt as though I had been “robbed” of an important component of womanhood…my boobs. Thus the ten year search to rectify what I saw as a problem.
A problem I did solve and did enjoy for years. That was until I went to a club. It was only after John and I were together and he took me to colette Dallas that I came face to face with a belief I’d falsely held.
The first time I laid eyes on the young woman in the club, I knew she was going to teach me a valuable lesson. You see, the very first thing I noticed was her lack of cleavage. I mean this woman had teeny tiny boobs, but was wearing the cutest little club dress, complete with short skirt and a low cut top. Wait, this flat chested woman was wearing a low cut top?!
Not only did this woman look amazing, but her attitude about her body had me immediately wondering about my own self view. Why does the chance encounter with this young woman stick in my memory?
Because it was the very first time I remember wishing I didn’t have my implants.
I watched this woman like The Grinch watched the town of Whoville come out singing even after he’d stolen all their Christmas gifts. I stood puzzling yet in awe of this confident woman! This woman with tiny boobs. It wasn’t the size of her boos that made her a woman or better yet made her valuable, it was her at her core. The way she loved life and accepted herself. The way she wore whatever she wanted with gusto!
All of a sudden I felt myself come full circle. Now implants seemed, not silly, but no longer necessary. Coming face to face with my insecurity was a shock. Had I really reduced myself down to my boobs? Had filling out a bra or slipping into a sexy bit of lingerie really been the reason?
I had to admit that at some point I thought I was less than a woman because of my figure (or lack thereof) I had to admit I’d felt out of place around all the big chested women. I had to admit my own view of sexiness had been tied to the size of my breasts. Don’t get me wrong, there is absolutely nothing wrong with wanting to be our best. I mean, we all strive to some degree or another to be pleasing to ourselves and others with incredible results. Results we should be proud of. What I’m talking about is the misguided views we can falsely believe. Those times we get too caught up in the value of ourselves in connection with what we do.
So with these memories in mind, my friend Denise and I talked. She shared that her experience with implants had not come without complications. That her experience had been one of health issues and countless doctor visits.
While some implant patients (like myself) don’t have any glaring health issues, many women are led down a path of declining health and real permanent life altering issues. Thankfully my friend agreed to share her story. A story I believe needs to be told. I applaud her courage and I hope all of my readers will read her autobiography through implants with enthusiasm and a soul searching spirit.
“I am writing this to bring awareness to a health epidemic that is haunting thousands, if not millions of women around the world.
Upon suffering from declining health over the past 7 years (the last 2 being very rapid), I was going from doctor to doctor getting blood tests, X Rays and MRI’s to figure out why I felt so sick. Upon viewing my blood tests last year, I was diagnosed with Mixed Connective Tissue Disease (MCTD).
I went on Facebook and reached out to a women’s group in my area to find a doctor for my new diagnosis. This started my journey into questioning my implants as being the cause of my declining health despite healthy eating and lifestyle. I started connecting the dots, and thanks to thousands of women sharing their stories with Breast Implant Illness and recovery, I explanted in August 2019. I have joined forces with these women to dig deeper and research the effects of these toxic devices implanted in us. As time goes by, more and more women are realizing they too are suffering from the toxic effects of Breast Implants, both Silicone and Saline.
Sadly, many women also have no idea that breast Implants could be a cause of such suffering and sickness, which is the purpose for this post. Had I not reached out to a large group of women looking for a doctor for my new diagnosis I may still be in the dark.
Both types of Implants (Silicone and Saline) use the same Silicone shell to contain the different materials used. Neither are safe, and many prior healthy women are faced with multiple health ailments after receiving Implants, such as Autoimmune diseases, Connective Tissue Disease, Chronic Fatigue, Fibromyalgia, Hashimoto’s Thyroiditis and Depression just to name a few.
Not only are the significant health issues a problem, but the lack of Plastic Surgeons disclosing the real, proven, toxic effects and illnesses that come with Breast Implants, is a problem. To make matters worse, women suffering from these ailments don’t get any help from their medical Doctors regarding the answer to their problems when they ask if they are possibly ill from Implants. They are left thinking they are crazy.
With their health rapidly declining, many women have lost their jobs from becoming too sick to function. Some have committed suicide, and some have died from these toxic effects.
Thankfully, there is more awareness now. More surgeons are explanting without question now. They see the evidence. The FDA is also recognizing BII. As women, we have a lot of pressure to look unrealistic in my opinion. The realistic Marilyn Monroe body type is of the past. I have put my body through hell and have paid the price to fit the mold. I will no longer do this. My only goal is a healthy lifestyle. After my last surgery this November to break up scar tissue in my legs from a botched cosmetic procedure I will no longer allow another surgeon to touch my body for cosmetic purposes. I am learning to love my body in its natural state. I encourage all women to do the same. We are not created for men’s eye candy. Again, I am sharing my story in hopes that I may help someone.”
We understand every woman’s experience is different and we want all women to know how important it is to do what brings them confidence, peace, and contentment…whatever that looks like. I especially want our readers to know that Openlove101 is a non judgement zone. A place where women can come together in support of one another. A place of compassion and empathy. We also want to encourage women to make sure they are honest and upfront with physicians and to rely on trusted healthcare providers, both from a physical and mental state.
Below are some of the sites Denise joined in her search and recovery from implants
John and Jackie Melfi are in a consensually non monogamous marriage. They have been featured in ABC News Nightline Special Report “Getting Naughty In N’awlins”, Inside a New Orleans Swingers Convention, and CNN “This Is Life” with Lisa Ling. The Melfis are the force behind the industry famous colette swingers clubs in New Orleans, Dallas, Houston, and Austin. With over 20 years of combined experience, this powerhouse couple coaches thousands of singles and couples through their award winning blog Openlove101.com.