John and Jackie commemorate a decade of Open Love 101, reflecting on their journey in the world of consensual non-monogamy advocacy. They share memorable moments, challenges, and triumphs while emphasizing the growth of their community and its impact on relationships worldwide.
From their early days blogging to becoming prominent voices in their field, this episode celebrates their passion for education, connection, and empowerment.
00:11
hey guys it’s John and Jackie of openl 101.com we uh we have some friends that we’ve known for quite a few years and a couple of times over the years they’ve gone through some whatever issues that couples have and they reach out to us and they’re in a strictly non monogamous
00:27
very 110% vanilla relationship ious relationship yeah yeah monogamous not mon they’re monogamous yeah very vanilla wow it has been 10 years of open love 101 when did that happen I do not even know it is flown by flown by and we’re going to reminisce a little bit um
00:54
before we get started though please sign up for our email list at openl 101.com click the Blue Bell here on YouTube be notified of other videos that we have coming up or you can look at the last 10 years of videos 10 years J many crickets how many videos do we have now Courtney
01:17
seven seven no hundreds it feels like um well put me on the spot John that’s that’s that’s me a lot that’s a lot it’s a lot it’s all you got to say we have a lot of videos on on YouTube you guys can probably let us know better than we can right now obviously but it’s been uh it has been
01:35
quite the journey Ive really enjoyed it you know when we first started this I remember we were doing back then you were writing more so we were doing a Blog one week and a video another week I miss all kind of intimate story I don’t know where I think you were sitting
01:55
upstairs it was in Dallas we had a little desk area up there in like the there and Jackie was talking to one of our partners in open love and he was trying to encourage her to write and it it just brought up so much anxiety within you oh I was crying I was like I can’t do this
02:16
yeah and you know the one thing about Carrie he he he was really um motivational like he could really especially with he did with me too but especially you he could talk to you in such a way and really give you the encourage whatever you needed the encouragement and to to to get it done
02:35
and that that was the only time that happened it happened and then you were Off to the Races yeah and then the other um early memory I have was when it came to filming and your fear of of being on camera we talked about it what am I going to do how am I going to do this and Damian was helping
02:56
us out at that time and had the camera set up and we were in our our living room there in Dallas and you were nervous like I’m thinking to myself this is not going to happen I mean I’m like there’s no way we’re going to get this done and he says okay rolling and Jackie you just like went to town I
03:14
couldn’t believe it it was like you were like made for it you were born to be on the camera and it went we didn’t have to do any retakes we’ve never had to do any retakes I mean there have been some times we’ve like said I don’t know like we’re talking about but yeah probably
03:30
should do more but we normally just go from beginning to end just having a conversation about whatever it is and we don’t have to edit anything out yeah and that was from the very very first time yeah and and I remember when we launched open love 101 we were actually in Jamaica at
03:51
Hedonism is a resort there and that’s when open love went live and it went live with a Blog and um we were estatic because we had 25 people like like it or something I mean I was so EXC I couldn’t believe 25 people had read my blog you know it was just kind of one of those moments like H and
04:20
uh you know to see us today 10 years later and just to see the growth of the community in general um and how it seemed like what we were doing was so novel at the time we were actually putting our faces up and out and uh proclaiming our relationship model out loud and that was really um you know
04:50
10 years ago that was really something um today there are so many so many advocates for the open relationship model and they’re out and loud and proud and um it’s really nice to see that and there are a handful that are out loud and proud there are a lot that are
05:10
behind the scenes doing podcast and at that time too I don’t even know if I knew the word podcast we were really we went straight to video which was really unusual and I I never it never dawned on me that we were doing something a little bit different by being on video right and a
05:27
couple years later I started hearing about podcast and and we’ve done some panels at conventions where there’ve been cuz I consider us podcasters as well yeah we’re just podcasters on camera yeah from the very beginning and um there were some on there that didn’t
05:44
want to be filmed uh they didn’t want to be outed it was all behind they had fake names and and that’s okay yeah fine I mean they’re getting a message out there no matter how it is but it never dawned on me to be secretive about it and I’m really happy the way we did it it’s
05:60
really it’s really been it’s been a journey it’s been so much fun do you remember when we were trying to think of name and we were laying out by the pool in Dallas and I have my laptop out there and I’m searching for URLs to see what’s available on GoDaddy we had a list of
06:18
potential names and I was going through each one to make sure we could get the CU to me the name is important of course but to have a doom for the name yeah trumped everything else so we had some great names but they were taken and and maybe not for the same reason and then
06:35
we came up with with open love 101 and you know the oneon-one signifying like education like education which is what we wanted we really wanted to teach people through our experience about this lifestyle yeah and now it’s been 10 years I know it’s just crazy I mean
06:52
hundreds of Articles hundreds of videos um you know 10 years worth of traveling talking coaching um mentoring um you know being on other podcasts being in the news you know being unafraid to speak our truth and you know I mean I remember uh an article that Daily Mail did I don’t know probably
07:23
four years into our open love journey and uh it’s kind of one of those things you know how Daily Mail is as soon as something has an interesting title it kind of goes viral which ours did I think we ended up with like 900 comments and I think 899 of them were negative yeah you know so you
07:47
have to be a little thick skinned you have to really believe in what you’re doing and be able to you know stand firm in your belief and and that was the first time that was the first time that had really happened where we were reading through the M and some of those
08:00
comments really bothered you cu the first time we really read comments like that we couldn’t believe it yeah and uh there were there were some bothersome ones in there yeah you know I mean you you you want people to to like you and but not everybody is and not everybody’s
08:17
going to agree and that’s fine too and then the great thing about that though we turned it around and we did a podcast where we read we read the bad ones and made fun of them so that that was a fun one yeah but I mean I think you know when I think about the years that we’ve done
08:36
this and when we have gone to conventions or when we’ve been traveling or when we’ve just been out and about and somebody stops us and says thank you so much for what you do um it really helped me or I grew up just like you did Jackie and it’s so nice to hear you know
08:57
somebody’s point of view that I feel like I can trust or you know it was because of your videos that we were able to open up our relationship or you know my wife was able to relax about her sexuality or the husband was able to you know let go of his jealousy or um you
09:18
know certain countries where this wouldn’t be accepted but people are like please keep doing what you’re doing because you know there’s these communities everywhere and uh you know sometimes when you don’t think you’re making a a difference and you know John and I
09:33
aren’t really doing this I mean we want to make a difference but that’s not the core reason why we do it I mean I think there’s a lot of personal satisfaction that we that we get as well doing these you know and just talking about our experience and if it helps other people
09:51
in their experience then that’s just gravy yeah so I think that makes a difference so I mean I really for me that’s the only reason I do it there have been times where I felt like maybe stopping yeah and then we’ll be at the club and someone will share with us how
10:09
it has changed their life watching our they’ve watched everyone it’s changed our lives we have a marriage that’s happening it’s ever been and I leave there leave that conversation thinking we have to keep do we just got to keep doing what we’re doing yeah you know this isn’t we definitely don’t do
10:25
this for the money I mean I I I wish I wish we money doing this but it’s it’s helped it helps me it’s helped you it’s helped other people and um you know we have a team together uh a great team you know like including you Courtney and John and uh it just um so it’s grown in
10:46
that sense we’ve been able to add people on yeah the the other thing that it has really done that I don’t think we talk about very much is the impact it’s had on Colette the clubs in how the largest amount of growth I’ve seen in the clubs was after we launched open love 101 we were starting to get
11:08
views and we saw we we’ get emails and and comments about you know we’ve been watching your videos we’re going to our first Club we’re going to try is going to be Colette Dallas or Colette Houston you know wherever it is and every time we go to the clubs how many people we meet
11:24
that came to the club because of open love 101 it’s kind of like a doorway into the first step into the into getting into a consensual Nom monogamous relationship or lifestyle and that’s that has been really amazing to see because you really get to touch it like when you’re when
11:44
we’re in there every time we’re in there we meet somebody that has had great experience from open love 101 well and that you know like you said that’s why we keep doing this and we’re just a like we’re a real life couple like we’re in a real life non- monogamous relationship
12:00
and we’re kind of sharing our experience and it takes away you know you can read an article or you can go to a club website or you can you know you can talk with your partner about it um but you’re still going to have those same kinds of Hang-Ups maybe or your like your own
12:24
point of views or you so to be able to watch a couple on a video video and them talking about it and kind of strip away some of those fears that we have um it obviously is very helpful and I I know it’s helped a lot of women and I know it’s helped a lot of this is going to sound really weird but it’s
12:47
helped a lot of parents as well um I think back to one woman in particular who her and her husband had been in the lifestyle and she was one of those people that was a strong believer in not being open and honest you know with her with her uh kids about what they do
13:08
which look I completely understand and there’s you know we have videos where we talk about what to talk about or if to talk about or when to talk about based on the age of your children but her kids were a little bit you know were older and she was really concerned that they
13:25
would turn their back on her um but after watching some of our videos and reading some of the Articles where I share you know my conversations with kids she finally had a conversation with her daughter who was older and come to find out once she did that the daughter
13:43
had a bunch of stuff that she’d been hiding and so it opened the door for her to be able to have the conversation with her mom and and ask her mom about some things that she had been really concerned about in her personal life so you it’s just even that kind of stuff
14:02
it’s it’s about giving people permission to be open and honest with each other to make sure that the relationships that they have in their life are Stellar you know I mean these are supposed to be the most important people in our lives but if we feel like we can’t be open and
14:22
honest with them you know we miss an really vital element to that relationship and I love that we can help with that mhm and we’ve also done you know iners oneon-one or couples uh coaching and we’ve had some experien with that that have been really amazing to see a couple starting off in the
14:45
troubles they’re having they they want to be in the consensual non relationship but they’re you know running into some roadblocks with fear and jealousy or other things like that and to be able to coach them through it by sharing our experience and seeing them get to the
14:57
other side yeah uh that’s been very very rewarding and I love to see and a couple that we had we did that with early on uh you know probably six or seven years ago and today I still see um uh you know pictures and stories on Instagram and Facebook about their lifestyle journey
15:15
and it’s just really amazing how they how how well they’ve done at the time I met with them that we met with them I I didn’t know that they were going to make it as a couple yeah and they really turned their life around and uh they seem to have a great relationship today
15:28
so that’s just very very rewarding as well and yeah yeah and then just to see you know the audience that we have is is growing you know and continues to grow and I bring that up because I feel as though we’re kind of transitioning maybe into a different phase when we talk
15:52
about open relationships where people are feeling a little more comfortable in talking about it or asking about it or watching the videos or making comments you know even if the comments aren’t all positive yeah I get it some people are just trolling and they just want to cause problems but
16:09
some people actually have sincere questions or you know they they really want to understand what the benefit is and those are the people that I I’m glad that we’re there for mhm for sure yeah and and then I mean get this so we have openlove101.com right we talk to people
16:29
about consensually non- monogamous relationships but the byproduct of us having this site is how many people that are in a more traditional monogamous relationship have benefited from this because really what we’re talking about are the building blocks of a good relationship we just have a couple of
16:55
additional things that we’ve added into it um but really the core elements of of any relationship uh have have certain qualities and those are the things that we talk about and anybody can benefit from it and a matter of fact what we have to offer because open love 101 comes from a more open
17:19
concept struggles that some couples have or that they think is going to be a huge struggle or a huge issue we can sometimes come from a different angle that they haven’t thought of because that option isn’t available to them in the relationship model that they’re in
17:37
but they could still benefit from the ideal of it or the approach of it or the way that they handle conflict with each other so I kind of like knowing that even though we cater kind of to an audience we have a big audience I mean we kind of cross barriers no no doubt about that yeah
18:02
that’s a great thing yeah Courtney did you have anything you want to add I just feel like since starting it you’ve grown in the community itself there’s a lot of podcasters and influencers that we’ve run into that by you coming out and being so open in public it has drawn
18:20
them to come out which has grown the number of people vocalizing uh that this is a real relationship model and not just a fat or you know something like that yeah to be proud of the relationship that they’re in I mean if the relationship model is such a benefit why wouldn’t you want people to
18:41
know the benefits of it um that’s what I’m hoping we kind of get across to people to be proud of the choices that they make to be responsible for the choices that they make to be an advocate for themselves yeah it’s just like giving encourage to people I guess being
19:01
brave and I’m really well we are we’re really grateful for all of you out there that follow us and that watch our videos and that submit questions and meet with us at open level 101 plus which is one of our newer products you know in the past couple of years oh yeah those are
19:17
that’s such a great that’s such a great opportunity if you really want some one-on-one with John and I or with some of the other people within the community it’s a great membership opportunity for you to take advantage of yeah and it’s really inexpensive and uh and so you
19:34
know really just keep the questions coming keep on watching our stuff and letting us know you know if you if there’s anything that you want to see us talk about uh we love hearing from you you’re really what has made this a success so thank you guys very very much
19:49
Happy 10year Birthday and hopefully 10 more to go we love you guys thanks see you so did you like that video then be sure and click on that subscribe button below and you’ll be guaranteed great sex the rest of your life
Courtney is the Marketing Director for Openlove101 and colette Clubs.