Aahhh, love…yes, it is a splendid thing.
Now, take a moment, close your eyes, take a deep breath, slowly release it and reach back into your memories. Do you feel it? Can you see it? Those moments seared into your brain? Those moments when your whole being was consumed by love? Yep, there it is!
I remember, just like it was yesterday the first time I spoke to John after our 30 year sabbatical from each other. His voice was a calm in my storm. Each syllable creating a vibration within me. A frequency that matched my desire. A perfect combination of intensity and peace. I don’t know if there is such a thing as a soul mate, but I do know one thing for sure…I wake up every morning wanting to spend my 24 valuable hours with John.
I know here in the U.S., we are big into holidays and, it appears, we have some sort of special happening set aside for almost all of the 365 days. Part of me likes the fact that we take the time to celebrate fun and different occasions. I mean, think about it, when it comes to recognizing our friends and loved ones we can sometimes forget to take the time to show them how much they mean to us. Special occasions can kick start us into remembering how important these people are in our lives.
The downside of all these holidays is, they can become pressure filled days in which others (and ourselves) will create expectations from our friends and loved ones, especially when it comes to “stuff.” “See, I must be loved way more than you, because I received such and such from my valentine!”
So, how can we keep a balance? A way to show our love and gratitude to our partner not just one day a year, but everyday?
1. Hold Hands: One of my favorite activities to share in with John is when we have our fingers intertwined. The physical and emotional glue of being attached to one another, and saying to the world, we are in this together!
2. Hugs: Have you seen those videos showcasing various people on the street, holding up signs that say, “free hugs!” Before long there is a group of people gathered around this individual waiting to encircle him or her in their arms. It’s almost as if we can’t help ourselves, and shows to me the energy created when we share. Take a moment to hug!
3. Kiss: We’ve all heard the benefits of kissing. Everything from lowing our blood pressure, (which seems funny to me, cause every time John kisses me, I almost feel like my blood pressure increases, I get so turned on) fighting cavities, boosts our self esteem, to turning up those “happy” hormones within us. Besides all this, it’s fun! The next time you and your partner decide to sneak a few moments to yourself, why not try a good ol’ fashioned necking session.
4. Conversation: Another one of my favorite ways to spend time with John is in the morning when we are beginning our day. This is the time we share with each other our thoughts and beliefs about any number of things. We will comment on current events, a new book we are reading, or maybe just something we feel needs attention. Not only do we learn something new about each other every time we engage in communication, but sharing adds another layer to our bond.
5. Time: What better gift to give your partner than the gift of time. This time together can be achieved by any number of ways. How about setting aside a few hours to watch a movie together? What about a leisurely walk around the neighborhood? Or take a tip from our video blog, 53 Relationship Questions, and spend an evening learning something new about your partner.
So regardless of how you and your partner decide to celebrate your love on Feb. 14th or any day for that matter, remember to hold hands, hug each other, share kisses, talk, and cultivate a life of time together!
John and Jackie Melfi are in a consensually non monogamous marriage. They have been featured in ABC News Nightline Special Report “Getting Naughty In N’awlins”, Inside a New Orleans Swingers Convention, and CNN “This Is Life” with Lisa Ling. The Melfis are the force behind the industry famous colette swingers clubs in New Orleans, Dallas, Houston, and Austin. With over 20 years of combined experience, this powerhouse couple coaches thousands of singles and couples through their award winning blog Openlove101.com.