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Negative Comments About Swinging

By February 28, 2017 August 14th, 2017 Swing Lifestyle Videos

In this video, John and Jackie go over some of the stranger and negative comments that have been made about their viral news article on the swinging lifestyle. Have people made these comments about your lifestyle choice?

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  • Amy & John says:

    It’s so interesting how misunderstood the swinging lifestyle is by outsiders. Most “swingers” are by far, the most loving, honest, caring and accepting people I have ever met. Marital Relationships absolutely flourish under this umbrella of openness and understanding. I can’t imagine any other way of life. I feel as though My husband and I have a much stronger bond than any of our vanilla friends. I know I’m biased, and to each his own, but this girl would not want it any other way!!!

    • Jackie Melfi says:

      Amy & John,

      Let’s hope that everyone reads this comment! What a beautiful testimony to our lifestyle! I say, “hear, hear” to every bit of your observation. Thank you so much for taking the time to share with me and everyone a remarkably accurate description of a swinging couple!


  • This always cracks me up how different people from different backgrounds, different cultures and values, and different notions of “global monism” view new paradigms. Yes, and there’s the hilarious irony… thousands upon millions with very different ideas of monisms by speaking out actually undermine their own proclamations and position! Hahaha! Oh how all-consuming the human ego can become, eh?

    Tremendous applause for you two in how you handle (self-righteous?) nay-sayers. Our lifestyle is ALWAYS and COMPLETELY consentual by all concerned participating individuals! Everyone can come and go as they please too, because as you both state, a very common misnomer is that the Swinger Lifestyle is a daily or weekly free-for-all of reckless orgies. Hahaha! I guess there will always be naive and/or ill-founded opinions about a subject the antagonists know little-to-nothing about, huh? (wink</em)

    What can Jackie wear or not wear? HAH! What a LOADED question! I have so many ideas across the spectrum, of course, but in the end she can wear whatever (or not wear whatever – hehe) she damn well pleases! If you’ve got a smokin’ hawt body like both of you do, OWN IT! Just realize everyone that Jackie and John are MORE than just sexy bodies! Right? (huge grin & wink) Duh.

    Thank you both for being such liberating, POSITIVE, outspoken, intelligent people for our growing lifestyle! BRAVO you two!

    • Jackie Melfi says:

      Hello good sir,

      I am always left with a smile upon reading your comments on OL101! You have such a beautiful relationship with pen and paper that I find myself in anticipation of your response. I find your comments to be so refreshing and you always seem to find an angle within the sites weekly post that is refreshing and well thought out. Thank YOU, for being another vital proponent of this swinging lifestyle.


      • Jackie/John, it is MY pleasure I assure you! The two of you make it SO EASY to be positive, encouraging, and simply human with desires to freely express ourselves!

        Both of you have a fantastic week and weekend! (warm hug)

  • Dlareg5712 says:

    I love the way you dress you both are a fantastic couple i love your lifestyle live long and prosper.

  • Richard says:

    I love the way you dress Jackie. I have also noticed that people feel they can criticize what they do not understand. For some people, swinging is not an alternative because of many personal factors they harbor and carry. For others, it has enhanced their marriage and made them closer to their spouse and brought wonderful pleasures. It has greatly enhanced my marriage and I celebrate the choice.

    • Jackie Melfi says:

      Hello Richard,

      First of all, thank you for the compliment, I really appreciate such kind words. Second, I want to applaud your ability to see the struggles behind so many of the comments. The point about swinging not being an alternative is spot on. I believe this to be such a true statement and one of the reasons John and I are so passionate about OL101! If we can reach just one person, one couple, and introduce them to a lifestyle option they never knew existed, then maybe, just maybe they will know the joy and enhancement you have found in this lifestyle.

      Thanks again for sharing. Jackie

  • Raymond says:

    Great to allow everyone here on Openlove101 to hear just how out of touch others are with this lifestyle. If many of these lifestyle bashers had a relationship like John and Jackie they’d understand how we in this lifestyle really do love our significant others.
    Comments on the way Jackie dresses are so out of touch with style in general. My wife too has been told by others that she should dress more appropriate for her age ( 42 ). Funny thing is that this is about her daily wear. It’s not revealing it’s just that others think she shouldn’t wear skinny jeans , low cut tops , 2″ inseam shorts or converse tennis shoes. She generally tells them ” my money , my style and my body and as long as I feel great and my husband agrees with me then just keep your comments to yourself “. When we visit your club in Dallas she is smoking hot as always in the fittest LBD or any other fitted dress. It’s always about her when she dresses for the club! I say , if she looks good , then she feels good and she’ll have a good time! In all our visits to the club since 2007 she has never disappointed me with her short short dresses and heels.
    J & J keep doing what you do because you have many more just like you two in the lifestyle who agree with you 100%.
    Wake up world and do whatever makes you happy and to hell with everyone else!

    • Jackie Melfi says:

      Hi Raymond,

      I couldn’t agree more! There is something very liberating about dressing in a way that makes you feel wonderful! I too am often baffled by this whole age appropriate dress. Yes, I get it, most people have an issue with Grandma wearing a mini skirt, but what about what Grandma wants to wear. If it makes her happy isn’t this the goal. Shouldn’t WE be happy that Grandma is happy.
      I love the confidence your wife exhibits in her response. Living life by her rules and by her personal satisfaction…love it!
      Thank you so much for sharing your experience and the wonderful lesson we can all learn when we stand steadfast in our convictions!

  • Lee says:

    I am thankful that you actually do this blog. For those who have negative comments, I would say that they have not followed the golden rule. If you have nothing positive to say, then just be quiet, you do not have to participate and watch. Cheers!


    • Jackie Melfi says:

      Hello Lee,

      Thank you so much for such a sweet comment. Beautifully succinct and to the point.

  • Jean says:

    Please do take note that not all of us from your friendly up north neighbors are against swinging, open relationships ” Normal” relationships

    There would be a lot of institutions closed if that would be the case! I can think of 3 such clubs and private venues just here in Montréal Quebec, Canada ??

    Ho! And yes Nicole and Myself absolutely adore Love each other! Thank you very much! ( lol)

    Thank you for bringing the life style to the mainstream and forefront of people!

    Jean & Nicole from Montreal in the Province of Quebec and our lovely country Canada!

    Yes the one with the Prime Minister that like to take selfies and is also doing an amazing Job lol

    • Jackie Melfi says:

      Greeting Jean & Nicole,

      You two are fantastic! Thank you, thank you, thank you for showing us some love from Canada!!!

  • Lynn says:

    Hey Guys,

    I love how you two took the time to have some fun with the uninformed people of the world. I had previously read some of the comments on that article, and personally took offense FOR you, because it is really nobody’s place to judge another person in this life. I believe you stated it best, in saying that a Marriage is about what two people agree that the marriage is about, and beyond that is NOBODY else’s business.

    As for how Jackie dresses, I think she is a beautiful woman who will be forever young at heart, and should dress how SHE is comfortable, and to heck with the naysayers in the world. That person was likely just jealous that they couldn’t look half as good in a similar outfit, as Jackie does.

    I’m a firm believer in an old saying, that you are only as old as you feel, and I believe as long as you guys keep living an active and healthy life, you will be forever young… my only wish, is that I had the freedom to do the same, instead of being locked into 12-20 hour work days and just keep on going. HA!

    Thanks for sharing such a positive outlook and reaction to all the ridiculously negative people.

    Take care,

    • Jackie Melfi says:

      Hi Lynn,

      You know when John and I first starting reading the comments left by those who read the various versions of our article, I had prepared myself for what I knew would be a healthy onslaught of opposition to our lifestyle stance. I was not disappointed…lol! You know, I found the comments to be very educational, even though in some of them I had to search for the lesson. I was afforded a wealth of material in which to write about and I found it easy to empathize with so many of those leaving comments. The comments also left me with a great feeling of gratitude, not only towards John, but for the lifestyle in general. A lifestyle that peeled away the blinders I wore for so many years and how embracing the lifestyle has given me the most loving, trusting, and yes honoring relationships I have ever experienced. Oh, and thanks for the support in regards to my outfits, your comments brought a smile to my face! Jackie

  • Lowell says:

    Wow! When I just listened to your video, and I had a memory recalling the polymath Galilei Galileo, and the headwind he had to endure to express his quite accurate “new knowledge” of our place in the heavens to his people well before its time. Galilei apparently assumed that his religious peers were ready to understand and benefit from his work. In my memory, I thought that you folks are quite gallant in your effort to front the masses of Great Britain here, and as well, to then take the time to read and rebut, or at least attempt to frame(& in some cases answer) their responses in LS terms that they might be able to understand(or not). A daunting and noble task for a husband & wife, for sure!

    But, quite a distasteful exercise as well, but, I’m guessing you took it on as a part of your mission to educate others and disseminate some of your own underlying LS framework and experience-based reasoning to partly explain both of your lifes’ journeys down this LS path.

    Again, you veered fairly clear of the obvious elephant in the room; that is, having had a non-confrontational response & not establishing an “us” vs “them”. I believe this is a key to keeping people open to the possibility rather then to simply allowing them to put the “lifestyle” back into that dusty old, dirty box that they apparently pulled it out from, in order to express such inappropriate, universally limiting beliefs about what they believe constitutes a healthy, intimate, human relationship, and further, that their beliefs must apply to all people, regardless of their walk-of-life.

    But, again, no surprises there right? My only suggestion is to not venture out too far from home, as very much is happening in the world today, that no one really fully understands. Although, you and John are not likely to take my advice, I do think its best, at least for now, for you both to take baby steps in your noble mission, among people whom are more predisposed toward the LS. Good luck to both of you!

    • Jackie Melfi says:

      Hello Lowell,

      Thank you so much for your well thought out comments regarding this latest video. You know, when John and I agreed to do this interview, I questioned my intent. I mulled over what it was I wanted the world to know, or if even telling the world my story would be worth the skepticism I knew we were likely to encounter. But there was the other side of the coin that convinced me to say okay. I knew that under all the comments and surface negativity, there would be someone out there who would benefit from our story. Someone who might be struggling with feeling as though they can’t live life authentically. Maybe a couple who wanted to give swinging a try, but didn’t know where to start. Yes, the majority of the comments hurled our way did not support our choice, but that really wasn’t my goal in doing the story. My goal or intent was to simply share and to let people take what they needed. To donate what I have learned in the hopes it might help someone else. Yes, I agree with your observation about not venturing to far ahead from the fold. To not lose sight of those in our own circle, but by the same token I am reminded that not all that long ago, I was lost and searching for a life that I never dreamed I would find within this incredible lifestyle family. Thank goodness someone took the time to share with me. Jackie

      • Lowell says:

        Beautifully expressed Jackie, and yes, I know your motivation is noble, and instructive to those whom have not yet traveled down your path—and to those who may never travel down that path.

  • Sonia says:

    John & Jackie,

    First I want to say I LOVE your style! I am 39 and hope I have your style in my 50’s. You don’t look 50’s by the way. Second, I found your videos when my husband and I were just thinking of the possibilities of this lifestyle. We have since went to clubs and love it! Your videos educated us about how to think of this lifestyle in a different way than most think of it. We opened our minds (and our relationship) and wouldn’t have without your testimonies on how great it can be. Thank you so much for these videos and showing us how a swinger lifestyle can truly be a wonderful wonderful thing!
    With Love,
    Sonia and Jeff ?

    • Jackie Melfi says:

      Sonia & Jeff,

      It is testimonies like this that stop me in my tracks. Those beautiful stories that have me running into John’s office in order to share such powerful statements! You two are a perfect example of why we created OL101. Knowing that you and your husband have enriched your lives together through swinging is proof just how powerful a partnership can become within this lifestyle. Thank you so much for sharing your story, and thank you also for the wonderful compliment.


  • Tim says:

    The most telling comment perhaps was the first. Our experience in the LS is that couples have shared values. Their actions–individual and collective–consistently reflect those shared values. In contrast, many of our vanilla friends have experiences–individual and collective–from which they try to derive commonality of perspective –and of value. Those in the LS cannot imagine going back to the vanilla approach regardless of sexual activity: they have embraced a values-based relationship and there is no goIng back.

    • Jackie Melfi says:

      Hello Tim,

      What amazing perspective and written so eloquently. Thank you so much for taking the time to share with all of us the benefits you have experienced by being in the swinging lifestyle. Values-based relationship…I love it!


  • Tom says:

    I absolutely love you guys, you present yourselves in a highly positive way. You’re an educated, well-spoken and attractive couple that provides fantastic insight into the lifestyle and I thoroughly enjoy your articles and videos. I think the negative comments are mainly from people who simply will never be able to wrap their minds around the idea of anything other that monogamy within a marriage. Some may have hard core backgrounds in religion and just can’t separate things in their brains. Jacki, you dress wonderfully, very classy and sexy at the same time. Keep it up guys!

    • Jackie Melfi says:

      Hi Tom,

      Thank you! We appreciate so much the comments we receive from you…talk about educated and well-spoken! I can’t help but agree with you about ones hard core backgrounds. I know because I am still overcoming my own religious dogma. Those teachings that are so integrated within us that it is hard to even know where the dogma stops and we begin. So I know first hand the struggle. This is when all the negative comments become my teacher…my opportunity to test my own confidence in the life I have chosen. The confidence in knowing. The confidence in believing. The confidence that I can respond in love and acceptance. Of course, I don’t expect everyone to agree with me…diversity is vital to our existence. We hear all that time how great it would be if we were all the same, but I say it is our uniqueness and individuality that keeps everyone on their toes! A constant influx of information from which to decide. What is going to make my combination of decisions different? Well, for one it makes me…me! So, to those who agree I say, “lets keep on keeping on” and to those who choose a different path, lets wish them a view is as wonderful as ours!


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