One of the most refreshing aspects of our non monogamous relationship is the freedom to share things with my partner that I wasn’t comfortable in doing in past monogamous relationships. There’s an entire atmosphere of honesty that we enjoy while being accepting of each other for who we are. Are you noticing the same depth in your lifestyle relationship? Let’s discuss!
John and Jackie Melfi are in a consensually non monogamous marriage. They have been featured in ABC News Nightline Special Report “Getting Naughty In N’awlins”, Inside a New Orleans Swingers Convention, and CNN “This Is Life” with Lisa Ling. The Melfis are the force behind the industry famous colette swingers clubs in New Orleans, Dallas, Houston, and Austin. With over 20 years of combined experience, this powerhouse couple coaches thousands of singles and couples through their award winning blog Openlove101.com.
I will not pretend that we have all of our ducks in a row and everything is smooth sailing in a non-monogamous marriage. We are still learning, as we are only a little over 4 years into discovery into this lifestyle after living for nearly 35 years in a monogamous relationship. In your video very good points are brought up and questions are asked about how different couples can make their situation work for them????? For us trust and compassion is the key words. We want to see each other reach out for sexual adventures with others. We trust that each other will always be coming home and there are no threats to our relationship. I mentioned compassion. I know we can never turn back time or make up for lost time, but we love to see each other in that special excitement and happiness that new relationship energy brings. We draw happines from each other’s happiness. Our self-confidence levels grow with each experience. We don’t know where or when this adventure ends, but until then we are along for the ride on a ship that neither of us is steering. Fate and karma will lead the way
First of all I love your blog. I love the swinging lifestyle but cannot seem to find a balance with my husband. He is only turned on while we are swinging. We have very little if any one on one sex. I am miserable. When I am feeling our chemistry then I want everyone to be a part of it but when I am not I am on guard and closed emotionally and physically. I am not interested in being one of those wives that garners her sexual pleasure outside of my one on one time with my husband….iuiughhhhh I don’t know what to do. I cry every day.
What you said here about authentic dialog in a CNM relationship applies just as well to monogamous relationships. Marriage encounter in the early 1980s taught techniques for daily dialog which came close to the heart of what kept couples from becoming “married singles.” Honest dialog keeps the doors open to the reality of that person with whom we are in relationship, and also helps us get through tough or challenging times together down the road. Nothing is so satisfying as becoming one with a trusted other.