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Ask John & Jackie: Open Relationships And Threesomes

By November 3, 2020 Uncategorized
Visiting a Swingers’ Club

Hi John and Jackie, 

We are intrigued that you have traveled as a threesome.

Can you give us some tips on how to plan and manage traveling as a threesome? We have never done it but are interested.

Thanks,

Threesome Intrigue

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Dear Threesome Intrigue,

First off, and I know this might sound obvious, but make sure everyone is on board with a threesome vacation. I would never suggest “surprising” your partner with another individual where traveling is involved. Once everyone is in agreement, then the fun of planning the trip can begin.

The trip John and I planned with our friend was international for us, but local for her. We decided to spend a week touring her country by car. We set a course that took her to new destinations as well as new and exciting locations for us. John rented a car in addition to booking all the hotel reservations. Since it was just the three of us, John booked suites with a king size bed, giving everyone plenty of room to sleep. He also made sure the rooms came equipped with a sleeper sofa, just in case. Since we considered our friend a guest, we picked up most of the tab for the trip. She did pay a few rounds of gasoline and a few meals, but most of the cost was paid by us.

We had experience with her travel habits and personality, so we knew traveling with this person would be enjoyable, which it was.

It’s important everyone gets along and is friends.

Jackie

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Hi Openlove101,

I’ve been with my partner for 13 years. She recently brought up the question of open relationships and how do I feel about it? I have insecurities over the matter with her. We haven’t had sex as often as we used to and we recently had arguments of her being unfaithful. I need help. 

Thank you,

Is An Open Relationship For Us

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Dear  AORFU,

Thanks for sharing your story. My first comment would be to tell you that opening up a relationship when the relationship is struggling with other issues won’t make the other issues disappear. No, most of the time it will only increase the issues. It’s necessary to have a firm foundation from which to stand when you are talking about the enormity of opening up a relationship to include others.

A marriage has to have trust, honesty, empathy, transparency, vulnerability, communication, comprehension, compersion (happiness in our partners happiness) honor, and of course love. Open relationships are a beautiful relationship model for those who have strong foundations. I’m not saying your relationship couldn’t open in the future, but it sounds as though there are some more pertinent issues that need to be addressed first.

If you would like to schedule time to speak with John and I you can by accessing our counseling page at:

https://openlove101.com/coaching/

Love,

Jackie

One Comment

  • David says:

    We sometimes travel with our friend / play partner or go to his home for a couple of nights or travel out of town and we get 2 hotel rooms with ajoining rooms. We have discovered that spending a couple of nights together is a much more relaxing time and our play time is more organic. We can play during the day if we want and in the evening after a night out for a meal. What we recently discovered is that if he comes into town for only one night it is too planned as to what is going to happen. We go out to dinner and straight to hotel room for play. It is not a bad experience but just not always very organic. In the near future we will have the flexibility to entertain him in our home which should make the experiences more organic and not so planned.

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