John and Jackie from OpenLove101 share personal anecdotes from their journey in the lifestyle, reflecting on memorable moments, lessons learned, and the dynamics of playing separately and together.
They discuss the importance of trust, communication, and mutual support while navigating open relationships. From exhilarating firsts to cringeworthy moments, this episode offers an intimate look into the realities of consensual non-monogamy.
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your in for a treat today is Jack and I talk about some sexcapades that we’ve had ow hey guys it’s John and Jackie of open love 101.com Welcome to our show we’ve got a great one for you today but before we get started please sign up to our email list at open Lev 101.com and we’ll
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notify you of all things open love did you ever get tired of saying that I love doing these things so probably not no okay well good and now it’s on you babe oh it’s on me yes all right well somebody has asked us if we will talk about um our first time in the lifestyle together and separate okay and
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then they want us to talk about a moment in the lifestyle that we regret or is cringeworthy cringe moment cringeworthy I feel like we’ve talked about this before but we’re going to talk about it again yeah so oh so oh yeah your lifestyle stuff the separate stuff could go back years
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and years and years and years and years I mean for me like before we were together I definitely had some I mean many many lifestyle experience I was in this I’ve been in a lifestyle a long time how long have you been in the lifestyle my first threesome was was when I was
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18 if that’s considered lifestyle I mean it was just a threesome but I mean you didn’t know it was lifestyle you didn’t even know there was that I mean I didn’t know that word no yeah so it’s just like you know at that time I just was open to having sex so what would you say would be your first
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experience that that would have been within the lifestyle realm that you would have like acknowledged like oh I am in the lifestyle doing this thing huh would it have been in Amsterdam no cuz I probably I mean that’s the first time I really knew what it was right and there were some times in
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Atlanta maybe around that same period of time where I had some experiences with friends it would be considered now would be considered lifestyle mhm I don’t remember specifically though when I when I owned uh I owned a nightclub in Atlanta and the internet had just really come
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into being so it was the mid90s 96 97 something like that and I met a couple online well actually I didn’t know it was a couple at the time someone was advertising uh gang bang and they were looking for volunteers for the gang bang it was going to be filmed and I was with a friend we were
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looking at I just couldn’t believe I’m like what the this like this is what you can do online you can meet people this way and I think they were in Jacksonville so I was in Atlanta so a few hour drive and I signed up and I I drove down there and there was a cameraman and the girl and uh I
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was the only guy that showed up so it ended up just being her and I being filmed so we we made out in the bedroom and we made out in the pool and then the security guy came by and he’s like you guys can’t be doing that in the pool I said we’re almost done and you know he
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let us finish and then we hung out afterwards and I find out that’s her husband filming US ah and that was kind of a like aha moment right there that was I’m like what really and I ended up going back with them to their house and we hung out and somehow we got on the subject of
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uh DVP double vaginal penetration and they had never done that before and they weren’t ready they wanted to practice so they got a they they you know I I went back home it’s a good night and went home and they ended up buying a vibrator or dildo and they practiced it using that and they invited
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me down to do it in for for real with them and so I did and uh man they were a great couple that that was that was probably my first time with a couple I think and what was it what was it like for you when you found out that they were a married couple like were you just like I just
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thought it was cool I mean it was like a it blew me away at first I’m like I felt a little like what I mean I couldn’t believe her husband was watching us do these things you know and but they explained to me and how much it meant to them and I really I mean there may have
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been other times before that but that one stands out right now I mean if I wrote out timeline maybe there was another one but that was definitely my first DVP and uh I was hooked after that yes we all know yeah so that that was that was that was a pretty cool experience and
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uh you know I know she was looking for something more than that I wasn’t the only guy they had invited but somebody didn’t show up and my experience since then has been that’s pretty normal people will sign up for things and then they chicken out last minute they decide
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not to go or whatever and that was the case here right and what about okay so that would have been your first experience just like on your on your own that if if you look at like since we’ve been together what’s been an experience I guess that we’ve had together and maybe separate
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that that stands out in your mind something like out of any period of time that we’ve since we’ve been together or I guess maybe it was the first isn’t that wasn’t that the question yeah but we can talk about anything we’re just talking about experiences so I mean the one experience
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one of the experiences we had that really stands out for me that I really loved was uh back in the day when you could pick up people on Craigslist and I weeding through them and I found this guy on Craigslist and you would it at that I think you you know we we’d had some threesome you liked
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having threesome but you weren’t really you were like you set it up and I’ll do it kind of a thing yeah no are you talking about the first one no oh this is a different one yeah this is when we lived in Dallas and I ended up finding this guy online he was looking for a couple yeah you
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know it was male searching for a couple yeah and the thing was I knew about Jackie was she once she was like in the moment she was much more down with doing doing something like that I can be an overthinker yeah so if I if I were to tell her this is what’s happening she
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like oh no no I mean whatever I don’t have the right clothes or the shoes or not in the mood you know whatever it is the weather’s not right shower the yeah so I didn’t tell her I was doing it and uh I arranged for the guy to come over well I want to interrupt yeah like
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you didn’t just we had actually had some fantasy discussions in the past and this happened to be one of my fantasies so this isn’t like something you just even though it was it was something I wasn’t prepared for it was something that we had discussed in the past so it wasn’t
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like completely out of the realm of no for sure yeah it wasn’t like I just came up with this one and you were just like put me in the middle of the situation yeah so so I’m Jack and I are in in the bedroom he’s supposed to just come in and join us and we’re making love and the phone
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rings and it was him I could see it it came up I’m like so I told Jackie I’m like oh it’s it’s work work or something I got to take this call like while we’re having sex and was was it maybe a text or something it was a text and he wanted me to put something on the door the
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front door to indicate that it was the right house cuz he didn’t just want to walk into a house and then like someone’s there with a it’s a wrong like we’re trying to play a joke on this guy or something we don’t know yeah so I had a little uh image of a flag of Cuba and
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I put it on the door and I told him this is what it is and so we Jackie and I go back like took care of work let’s get back to it so we’re going back to it and then the guy did he came to the house and uh I mean I don’t know what was going through Jackie’s mind when he’s standing there
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and well it was it wasn’t the fact that I didn’t even know he was standing there what happened was it went from two hands on me to four hands on me I was trying to figure that out I like it was almost immediate and then I you know I looked to the side and then he was there and he was he was very
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attractive and like you said I didn’t have time to overthink anything I was already kind of in that moment it was really to me it felt really organic and it was just like it just ended up being this really great interaction he it just he ended up being just this
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great guy and we were friends for a long time until we moved and he came over several times sometimes it’s that excitement of stepping outside the box right you know just letting something H it was it was really great that you planned that and had that all going because I got to just kind of be a
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recipient in that and uh you know I mean it you had a 50/50 chance of it going completely the other way oh I think my odds were better didn’t but it didn’t you know it was uh I mean I guess there was an element of risk in that but it ended up being really a great
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interaction for all three of us and um just a great guy yeah and and the you know the thing was too I mean I think it’s to kind of get out of the out of the telling story frame of mind some advice is I mean I I spoke to him on the phone I got a feeling about him you know when you’re
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doing something where you don’t it’s it’s a blind date inviting them to your house I mean you have to have be a little cautious about that but I I really had a good feeling about talking to him on the phone yeah and that was really the when finally I made that decision to do it well and then come to
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find out he actually we kind of had run in the same circles so he actually knew some of the same people that we knew and so that was kind of cool too um but yeah that was one of the that was one of those that’s one of those interchanges that we had that was just really kind of
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cool yeah that we had together and then you know when I think of separate play dates that you and I have had because in the relationship model that John have and I have in our open relationship is that we can play separately um and that can that can be separately in the same
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room it can be separately in different rooms it can be separately in different states cities countries countries you know I mean it can when I when I think of those playdates that we’ve had probably my favorite thing of those is when we come back together and we can
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talk about it or share it or we kind of feed off that Sexual Energy that’s already been created and just kind of um feed off of that listen to each other’s stories you know I know for me the first time I had a separate play date from you and then in the car on the way home cuz I
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when I think about those first ones you took me because we were in where we were I wasn’t comfortable driving mhm in hindsight when I look back I really like that because not only did I not just have my car but you had dropped me off and so my play partner knew that too he knew you
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were coming back right you know so there was an element of safety in that as well but when I think about when you picked me up and I got back in the car and I’m talking to you about the experience like I would talk would have talked to a girlfriend in college or you know I’m
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just I’m talking about the giddiness that I’m feeling or the excitement or the different thing that they did or I can’t wait to try this and even though those part parts of it are important what really just kills me every time this happens is your support of me it it really didn’t make
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any difference what I was doing it was the fact that I could get in the car and be like I got to experience this thing and it was so cool and you’re like oh I’m so happy for you I mean I could be doing anything but it’s that part of it that makes it makes it cool but it also made it
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really surreal because I’m like I can actually be doing something so separate from John but yet he still wants to participate in the joy that I’m experiencing from it and to me that’s a definition of Love MH and those are pretty Precious Moments I in my book I remember um back to the
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one of the dates where I drove you the one of the first actually was the first one and I I dropped Jackie off at the restaurant where she was meeting this gentleman and uh I told her the minute you know I mean sit down and text me right before I get too far away and let
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me know that you’re comfortable and she did that yeah and then I went home and just relaxed and waited and then you know she text me back I’m ready to get picked up and I went back and picked her it was that was so much fun I mean I really love doing even though you can
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drive yourself today I would still like to do that sometime that was kind of cool like dropping you off to your date so it would seem so weird to I mean even seems weird to me even when I talk about it and it’s one of those things that I’ve been able to share with you
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that I was never able to share with anybody else like that it it it’s just really kind of a cool experience you know to have that kind of love and support from your partner even when you’re doing something that maybe sounds like it shouldn’t be able to work but it does um and you know
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we’ve had periods of time where we have had play partners and we’ve had periods where we really hadn’t been anyone in our lives you know to do that with but I can I know the times that either one of us have had a play partner the you and I sex is better for some reason and and
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more frequent why do you think that is I mean that because that is one of those phenomenon not to kind of break from what we’re talking about but why do you think that is because that most people in lifestyle will tell you that exact same thing but why is that because it
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seems like that would be counter I mean I I I believe that part of it is within our DNA and has to do with survival of the fittest and how our species propagated at one time and you had to you know when it’s a new species you got to do it a lot you got to build and I
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think that’s part of that process so when the for me like knowing that you did that and hearing about it such a turn on like I could have had sex five minutes beforehand but if if you come back from the date and tell me what happened it would I would be able to again right away it just something
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internally I mean it it it has to be something like that for the switch to flip so quickly and easily and it does for you too the same kind of thing can happen well I think it can be probably has some some tether to bonding that too yeah strengthening bonding like doing
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this and we’re going to bond like it increases it increases that and you know I mean there are some species that that is how they that’s how they navigate those those communities is through that it’s a bonding and it doesn’t even have to involve sex because I mean just
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recently um we had some people over and one of the girls that was there was looking at me in a certain way and Jackie noticed it and then the next day she talked about it and and there you go and it wasn’t anything it was just the way she was looking at me and uh I mean
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we sat together for a few minutes but it wasn’t a sexual thing at all right but just the fact you know someone was flirting with me was a turn on or looking at you in in that way like I was talking earlier where it just kind of remind you of like oh yeah like you know but just like with
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anything in life you’re going to have experiences that are just like really beautiful they’re really poignant they really speak to you they remind you why you’re doing it uh you know doing whatever it is that you’re doing in your relationship and then you know sometimes
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something comes along and really really makes you appreciate your partner but from the opposite standpoint you know because maybe the interaction was subpar or you know it didn’t go quite as planned um you know I can I can really only think of of one interchange that I had
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with somebody where it was kind of cringy but it really wasn’t so much about what they had done what made it poignant was what I didn’t do and so it’s cringeworthy from the standpoint that I wasn’t an advocate for myself and so then it just becomes a lesson so I guess it’s
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it’s more along those lines yeah and you know definitely you learned from it and uh we talked about it afterwards and and like Jackie said it wasn’t really that the thing that transpired wasn’t anything that hurt you or anything like that it was just something was shock
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this is my thing but I didn’t you know I wasn’t quite sure how to say something say no to it yeah how to say no to it I wasn’t you know and those are learning those are learning curves but you have to you have to look at them like that M and the only ones that I’ve
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had the experience I’ve had that I would say were I don’t I don’t enjoy them in the same way it’s when somebody gets uh and this could just be for me because of where I am in my life but when someone gets so drunk that it becomes really sloppy and yeah it’s those those those
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dates where I’ve had where that’s happened it’s like why am I here you know and it’s when I wish that uh you know I mean it could be the point where someone can’t even drive themselves home and so you end up having to do more and it’s and yeah so those are the ones I think it’s for me I
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really enjoy being I don’t mind people drink but yeah I don’t like it when they get so out of it that it’s like ah it doesn’t become fun anymore it becomes work yeah well and then you have to you know like be the like you you realize they’re past the point of being able to
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negotiate what’s even going on anyway so then you know you don’t want to like deal with any kind of consent issues and all that kind of yeah stuff all right you know yeah I mean most cases when that’s happened there nothing ever happened because it just got that person
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got so you become more of a bab I wasn’t going to do anything anymore and it wasn’t attractive to me I wasn’t turned on by it and yeah and then you know then I come home and tell you the story and it doesn’t do anything for us either so no it just makes it more like a I’m
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sorry that that was horrible you know and and that’s that’s interesting too cuz we’ve had that happen as well it’s like well I got there and it wasn’t really what I was kind of hoping for or you know she wasn’t maybe as honest about what she looked like as she claimed
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or isn’t it cool we can just sit here and just talk about like in the time that we’ve been together we’re talking about experience we had sex with other people and it’s just so yeah yeah and then how you could to be like disappointed for them you’re like ah all in all I mean the whole the whole
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trip of this you know just the the road that we’ve traveled in our open relationship has just had so many so many opportunities for us to just become closer and you know we’ve made some really good friendships and I think our relationship I know for me it’s the first relation relationship
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that I’ve had where this many years into it I’m still as excited about the relationship I was at the beginning of it which is fun fun for me it’s fun for me too so so well guys we hope you enjoy hearing our stories and once again please sign up for our email list at openlove101.com
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to be notified of this and other open love 101 stuff and we’ll hopefully see you soon see see you for
Courtney is the Marketing Director for Openlove101 and colette Clubs.