Three years ago, John and I were in Jamaica. I remember it like it was yesterday. We had scheduled a trip to Hedonism II, but the trip overlapped our debut of a brand new site we had created…Openlove101.com. So, from our hotel room, with nervous anticipation, we hit send and launched our little blog. From that day on, we have never looked back.
Our labor of love has grown larger than we could’ve ever imagined. Our message of consensual non-monogamy (CNM) through a more open/swinging/poly lifestyle has reached global proportions.
We have seen couples stretch their wings, soaring to new heights in their unions. John and I have ached with empathy as couples from other countries shared the brutal truth of restriction they face on a day-to-day basis. These couples have to “fly under the radar” in order to reap the benefits of this viable relationship model. We have talked to hundreds of couples and singles who through watching a video or reading one of the blogs, stepped over the line in the sand and visited a swingers’ club. The gratification John and I receive in seeing these smiling and excited faces in our own colette clubs pushes us even more to spread our message. To have a woman come up to me and say that she watched our videos and they gave her the courage to come out to a club, fulfill a fantasy, or bring about a closer partnership with her husband leaves me emotionally charged.
Don’t even get me started on what WE have learned from this journey. The stories of pain and triumph from the men and women who breached their egos to be vulnerable arouse their own “ah ha” moments for us. “How can I be a better spouse? How can I walk through this fear? How can I show compersion?” John and I have laughed and cried and dug down deep with so many amazing couples and singles. We have rejoiced in their successes and been an ear and supportive shoulder through their struggles. We have shared our story and been blessed in return with the stories of others. It’s an honest and true working conversation for a common good.
Openlove101.com has pushed the envelope. It has exposed the lifestyle in all its beauty and unapologetically stood up for a relationship model that’s gaining ground. Even in the three short years Openlove101 has been in existence, we have seen a shift in media coverage. More and more articles are coming out in support of consensual non-monogamy. We’re even seeing a surge in scientific backing. A recent Ted Talk states that 4% to 5% of the U.S. population is opting for a CNM relationship. While this might not sound like a lot, this percentage translates to almost half the population of Canada. Let that sink in for a minute! It’s not just one Ted Talk, but dozens. People are speaking up and coming out of the shadows.
John and I see a real shift from all generations. Whether a Baby Boomer or Millennial, these populations are spouting, “I will choose the relationship that works best for me, thank you very much!” No longer are we simply accepting a pushed narrative that monogamy is the only answer, especially when upwards of 50% of marriages end in divorce. It’s about acknowledging our options as well as utilizing those options to their full potential.
I’ve said it before and I will say it again: As a society we should be applauding those couples who are taking the time, energy, and effort to tailor make a relationship that brings them closer. A relationship model in which all partners agree to engage in sexual, romantic, and/or emotional relationships with others. The results have been stronger, closer, and deeper marriages for those who participate. Who would have thought that by opening up a marriage the end result would bind the couple? We see this happen on a daily basis. We’re the “proof in the pudding,” so to speak.
In closing, John and I want to say again how indebted we are to each and every one of you who has followed us these past three years. Your steadfast support is a driving force that keeps us fueled. To those new to the Openlove101 family…welcome! We hope you’ll find the answers in the pages and videos of OL101. We look forward to another year of growth and expansion (especially excited in the 2018 launch of Openlove University!!!) and we can’t wait for you to join us in this journey together.
John & Jackie
Other AWESOME stuff you should check out:
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John and Jackie Melfi are in a consensually non monogamous marriage. They have been featured in ABC News Nightline Special Report “Getting Naughty In N’awlins”, Inside a New Orleans Swingers Convention, and CNN “This Is Life” with Lisa Ling. The Melfis are the force behind the industry famous colette swingers clubs in New Orleans, Dallas, Houston, and Austin. With over 20 years of combined experience, this powerhouse couple coaches thousands of singles and couples through their award winning blog Openlove101.com.