Happy Anniversary to us!
The second anniversary of Openlove101 is quickly approaching!! John and I are forever grateful to everyone who has taken time out of their daily schedule to read and/or watch our blogs and videos. We’re continuously inspired by your questions and commentary about the swinging lifestyle. Each email I receive from a reader who has a concern or is simply curious about the ins and outs of the swinging lifestyle reminds me of the importance of transparency—of sharing who I am in order to give validity to this incredible relationship option.
I’m also reminded that there are thousands of couples and singles navigating through life feeling as if something doesn’t quite fit in their relationship but can’t put a finger on the missing piece. I’m proud and honored that Openlove101.com plays some part in helping these couple find that missing piece, that morsel of contentment which comes from being authentic. Showing the world that you embrace your authenticity will bring about transformation in life. Digging beneath the surface to the muscle and then moving in a way that will initially seem awkward and uncoordinated will become automatic with repetition.
When I started tennis lessons, my instructor positioned me in such a way that I was convinced couldn’t possibly end in me hitting the ball, yet when she served, I volleyed it right back to her, awkwardness and all. The way I had been used to standing while playing tennis was seared into my muscle memory banks, and when I changed my posture, my mind and body wanted to fight against it, even if the new stance was optimal. Once I resigned myself to this new instruction, my game improved, and what initially felt forced became natural.
I like to think of Openlove101 as this same kind of coach; we’re teaching a new technique while offering our support as you retrain your body and mind to embrace another point of view. It’s about letting go in order to welcome in changes that are new, fresh, invigorating and completely outside the box. It’s about stretching yourself and your boundaries and being fluid in your life. This kind of alteration needs reinforcement and that’s what Openlove101 offers. We’re an active, interchanging community of couples and singles committed to putting themselves and their relationships into focus. It’s a compersion centered atmosphere that encourages honesty, truth, vulnerability and owning your decisions while sharing this confidence with others.
It’s so gratifying to see couples shed the antiquated relationship model, a facsimile that isn’t working for them, and replace it with a tailor made partnership they can call their own. Those couples who say, “This is our marriage, what DO we want?” aren’t satisfied with the status quo, and now have the courage and mutual support to say what they want. How empowering! Witnessing all this empowerment encourages me as well. It’s a daily reminder of how sacred and valuable our relationships are and should be. Whether we’re talking about a relationship with another person or that ever important relationship we have with ourselves, I’m prompted to be diligent in my attitudes and thoughts. How can I inspire myself? What beautiful, loving gesture can I do for my partner? How can I make sure my relationship remains fluid? Can I step outside my comfort zone and try something different? What would happen if I did? What would happen if I didn’t?
I’m reminded of a story my cousin told me about an exam he took in college. On his desk was a lone sheet of paper with one word… why? He looked around at his fellow classmates who were feverishly writing in their attempts to explain the question, defending and expounding upon their points. My cousin’s response was why not? He received an A on that exam. Sometimes this is the simple answer to what we want to make difficult in life. Sometimes life is about exploration, about pushing through the confines of what we’re told is supposed to work in order to find out for ourselves whether these limitations are valid or if they’re based on society’s fears. Sometimes life is about saying why not!
As Openlove101 welcomes another year, John and I hope you’ll continue to reach out and share your stories and experiences, your joys and fears and what works for you and your relationship. We’ll remain steadfast in our desire to educate those curious about the swinging lifestyle, to offer our point of view and debunk the myths and misconceptions about swinging while highlighting the benefits. We’re committed to helping all couples find their way in this wonderful lifestyle choice that deepens bonds and creates unrelenting trust. In addition, we are pleased to announce the upcoming release of my new book, “Swingers Lifestyle: The Questions You are Afraid to Ask. You can grab a free preview here>> openlove101.com/gift.
Thank you for your support,
John & Jackie
John and Jackie Melfi are in a consensually non monogamous marriage. They have been featured in ABC News Nightline Special Report “Getting Naughty In N’awlins”, Inside a New Orleans Swingers Convention, and CNN “This Is Life” with Lisa Ling. The Melfis are the force behind the industry famous colette swingers clubs in New Orleans, Dallas, Houston, and Austin. With over 20 years of combined experience, this powerhouse couple coaches thousands of singles and couples through their award winning blog Openlove101.com.