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Your Favorite Swinging Lifestyle Blog Turns 2

By January 17, 2017 August 14th, 2017 Swing Lifestyle Articles
Swinging Lifestyle Blog

Happy Anniversary to us!

The second anniversary of Openlove101 is quickly approaching!! John and I are forever grateful to everyone who has taken time out of their daily schedule to read and/or watch our blogs and videos. We’re continuously inspired by your questions and commentary about the swinging lifestyle. Each email I receive from a reader who has a concern or is simply curious about the ins and outs of the swinging lifestyle reminds me of the importance of transparency—of sharing who I am in order to give validity to this incredible relationship option.

I’m also reminded that there are thousands of couples and singles navigating through life feeling as if something doesn’t quite fit in their relationship but can’t put a finger on the missing piece. I’m proud and honored that Openlove101.com plays some part in helping these couple find that missing piece, that morsel of contentment which comes from being authentic. Showing the world that you embrace your authenticity will bring about transformation in life. Digging beneath the surface to the muscle and then moving in a way that will initially seem awkward and uncoordinated will become automatic with repetition.

When I started tennis lessons, my instructor positioned me in such a way that I was convinced couldn’t possibly end in me hitting the ball, yet when she served, I volleyed it right back to her, awkwardness and all. The way I had been used to standing while playing tennis was seared into my muscle memory banks, and when I changed my posture, my mind and body wanted to fight against it, even if the new stance was optimal. Once I resigned myself to this new instruction, my game improved, and what initially felt forced became natural.

I like to think of Openlove101 as this same kind of coach; we’re teaching a new technique while offering our support as you retrain your body and mind to embrace another point of view. It’s about letting go in order to welcome in changes that are new, fresh, invigorating and completely outside the box. It’s about stretching yourself and your boundaries and being fluid in your life.  This kind of alteration needs reinforcement and that’s what Openlove101 offers. We’re an active, interchanging community of couples and singles committed to putting themselves and their relationships into focus. It’s a compersion centered atmosphere that encourages honesty, truth, vulnerability and owning your decisions while sharing this confidence with others.

It’s so gratifying to see couples shed the antiquated relationship model, a facsimile that isn’t working for them, and replace it with a tailor made partnership they can call their own. Those couples who say, “This is our marriage, what DO we want?” aren’t satisfied with the status quo, and now have the courage and mutual support to say what they want. How empowering! Witnessing all this empowerment encourages me as well. It’s a daily reminder of how sacred and valuable our relationships are and should be. Whether we’re talking about a relationship with another person or that ever important relationship we have with ourselves, I’m prompted to be diligent in my attitudes and thoughts. How can I inspire myself? What beautiful, loving gesture can I do for my partner? How can I make sure my relationship remains fluid? Can I step outside my comfort zone and try something different? What would happen if I did? What would happen if I didn’t?

I’m reminded of a story my cousin told me about an exam he took in college. On his desk was a lone sheet of paper with one word… why? He looked around at his fellow classmates who were feverishly writing in their attempts to explain the question, defending and expounding upon their points. My cousin’s response was why not? He received an A on that exam. Sometimes this is the simple answer to what we want to make difficult in life. Sometimes life is about exploration, about pushing through the confines of what we’re told is supposed to work in order to find out for ourselves whether these limitations are valid or if they’re based on society’s fears. Sometimes life is about saying why not!

As Openlove101 welcomes another year, John and I hope you’ll continue to reach out and share your stories and experiences, your joys and fears and what works for you and your relationship. We’ll remain steadfast in our desire to educate those curious about the swinging lifestyle, to offer our point of view and debunk the myths and misconceptions about swinging while highlighting the benefits. We’re committed to helping all couples find their way in this wonderful lifestyle choice that deepens bonds and creates unrelenting trust. In addition, we are pleased to announce the upcoming release of my new book, “Swingers Lifestyle: The Questions You are Afraid to Ask. You can grab a free preview here>> openlove101.com/gift.

Thank you for your support,

John & Jackie

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  • Hello there , my name is Anthony and the wife and I have talked about this for a few years. We’ve agreed that we both would really enjoy doing it together , but we just don’t know the best way to find the right person or couple, there are safety issues etc… so any tips or help that can be offered would be great. Thank you and I look forward to new adventures

    • Jackie Melfi says:

      Hi Anthony,
      Speaking from personal experience, some of the best interactions John and I have had with other couples or singles have taken place either at a swingers club or on a swingers vacation. What makes either of these destinations nice is half the battle is already handled. I mean, you are after all dealing with fellow swingers. They also provide secure locations in which to experiment with the open relationship model and to visit with others. You will also find a plethora of adult social sites online. A quick google search will put you in touch with a varied list of sites. These profile sites are another great way to meet others. If you are ever in the New Orleans, Dallas, or Houston area please be sure to visit our clubs…http://coletteclubs.com/

  • Kerri says:


    I’ve recently become intimately involved with a man who I’ve known for a year. It has never been a secret that he swings, and I have always been curious about the lifestyle. While not identifying as a “couple”, we have talked about me going to my first play party with him. This excites me but causes anxiety as well. Is there a power imbalance? Am I going to be left to fend for myself? Will he feel like he’s babysitting me? Do I have to play at all? Am I being recruited?

    I guess I’m just looking for perspective.This is all new to me.

    • Jackie Melfi says:


      These are great questions and ones you and the men you’ve been seeing should discuss. One of the positives of the lifestyle is the intense and intimate communication encouraged. It’s important for the two of you to have a clear understanding of the rules or boundaries before attending a party or club. The majority of couples who attend swinger events do so as an enhancement to their relationship. They enjoy experiencing the lifestyle together and never want the other to ever feel pressured to do anything they don’t want to do. I typically tell those new to the club experience to enter without any expectation. Come out, observe, and get a sense of how they operate. Make sure this is something you want to try or do for yourself, this way you will be able to take 100% responsibility for your decision.

  • Alvaro says:

    John and Jackie:
    First of all let me start this message by giving a huge shoutout to the great assertiveness with which you explain the philosophy of the lifestyle. Personally I am a 26 year old man who has had the experience of living in Key West (the last florida key known for their big Swinger 1-week Parade called Fantasy Fest) and there I discovered the lifestyle. I was amazed by the level of complicity, intimacy, trust and respect that this couples show and ever since that Idea has been in the back of my mind.

    I have tried swinging experiences with FWB before, but since for none of us there was any emotional investment per se, it was a risk-free experience. But now everything has changed a little, I feel the need to experience a more meaningful serious relation and I would like to listen to your advice into what is the way you would recommend to start entering the lifestyle with someone you are very emotional invested. What is your POV on subjects like jealousy, insecurity and in even timing (is it better to start off as swingers or to become swingers after knowing each other for years) and any other relevant tips to get started into the lifestyle.

    • Jackie Melfi says:

      I would suggest reading or watching the plethora of blogs and videos John and I have done on the topic of jealousy. When on our Openlove101 site you can always key in a word description in the search engine to bring up relevant articles.

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