“Does anyone know what this is?” Wednesday Martin, my newest hero, asked while holding a 3D pink widget at a recent public appearance.
She was speaking at a packed swanky private club in Austin, Texas. I sat in the audience, seriously fan crushing on Martin, author of Untrue: Why Nearly Everything We believe About Women, Lust and Infidelity is Wrong and How the New Science Can Set Us Free.
From somewhere in the back came, “mouthguard?”
Personally, I thought it looked like a big wishbone. Martin took the end piece of the item and held it between her thumb and forefinger, raising it towards her mouth. The crowd laughed, definitely not a mouthpiece. She held the piece up and proclaimed, “It’s a clitoris!”
All I could think was, “What the hell? Are you serious? That seemingly huge pink appendage Wednesday Martin has in her hand is my clit?”
Turns out the life size clitoris is about 10 centimeters in length which is about four inches. Yes… four inches! That little nub between our legs ladies is in a lot of ways like an inverted penis. Or maybe a penis is simply a big clitoris! As a matter of fact, according to a 2016 “Glamour” article, the clitoris and the penis develop from the same structure in the womb. I know, I know… this news caused mini mind explosions with me too!
The New York Times Best Seller had only been on stage a few minutes, but at this point she could’ve easily ended her speech right after this incredible revelation and the crowd would’ve given her a standing ovation. This news was huge! But she was just getting started. Let’s see, what other mind blowing proclamations would she reveal?
How about this one? Women get bored with one partner quicker than men do! Yep! According to a recent article in “The Guardian,” Martin states, “We were taught that men were the ones who needed variety, but the exact opposite turns out to be the case. Overfamiliarisation with a partner and desexualisation kills women’s libido. We used to think it’s only men who became sexually bored after marriage; turns out that’s not true. It’s when women get married that it’s detrimental to their libido.”
Wednesday and science were painting a much different portrait of the female gender than the strong, silent nurturer stereotype that has branded us forever. Turns out we’re just as sexual (if not more so) than males.
Back to the clit. Women have just as many nerve endings in their clitoris as the male does in his penis, albeit packed in a smaller space. Both clitoris and penis are swarming with about 7,000 nerve endings. It doesn’t take a rocket scientist (but it does take doctors like Wednesday Martin) to remind us that the concentration of nerves is much greater in the clitoris, which equates to heightened sensitivity.
What really blew me away was Martin’s revelation that women think about sex just as often as men, and we’re turned on by most EVERYTHING!
According to her book, in a comparative gender study, scientists discovered that when men were shown porn, whether it was heterosexual porn, bi porn, girl on girl porn, gay porn, threesome porn, whatever, the men were turned on by specific scenes. When the same test was conducted with women, the results were surprisingly different. According to science, us women don’t seem to care what category of porn is playing, whether gay, straight, bi, lesbian, we’re turned on by it all!
As I sat in the audience listening to fact after fact, scientific study after scientific study, I began to look around the room. Dozens and dozens of women were in attendance, and like me, they were all starting to sit up just a little straighter in their chairs. Each time Martin revealed a fact, the women smiled knowingly (whether we had known these facts prior to entering the building or not) at each other.
The pressure of our controlled sexuality was being lifted thanks to this progressive woman on stage. Martin’s truths were flooding our systems and surfacing within ourselves. These scientific revelations were rocking our worlds and we all knew it was just a matter of time before the news rocked the planet. We’re going to witness a paradigm shift sooner than later, one which will balance the sexes and equalize sex.
Sex education is going to grow up and get real. Society and religion will be forced to stand back. The pendulum of male dominated sexuality was going to swing back to the other side and meld the sexes in a natural sway. Men aren’t in greater need than women for sexual satisfaction, and because of doctors like Wednesday Martin, women are coming into their own. We’re being given permission, scientific permission, to embrace every single morsel of our sexuality.
In the end, one lucky woman in the audience went home cradling the 3D clitoris model (download and print your own here or you can buy a printed one here)… a gift from the speaker. You wouldn’t think a plastic mold of a body part could bring women to a frenzy, like vying to catch the bouquet at a wedding. The women in the audience all left with a little sigh of contentment knowing that this lucky woman was going to be taking home a trophy so to speak of our power, one which we had just been told was super.
Attending Martin’s speech was one of the most enlightening and liberating events in my life. I truly believe that every woman could benefit in some way from reading her book, Untrue (be sure to order your copy!), and I would love to hear your thoughts and revelations on this eye-opener. This book, like us, will not be stuck on a shelf, I guarantee it!
John and Jackie Melfi are in a consensually non monogamous marriage. They have been featured in ABC News Nightline Special Report “Getting Naughty In N’awlins”, Inside a New Orleans Swingers Convention, and CNN “This Is Life” with Lisa Ling. The Melfis are the force behind the industry famous colette swingers clubs in New Orleans, Dallas, Houston, and Austin. With over 20 years of combined experience, this powerhouse couple coaches thousands of singles and couples through their award winning blog Openlove101.com.