Why Most Couples FAIL at Hotel Takeovers (And How Not To)

 

 

In this episode, John and Jackie dive deep into the fascinating world of hotel takeovers and conventions in the lifestyle community. They share essential tips for preparation, setting boundaries, meeting new people, and maximizing your experience at these unique events.

 

Whether you’re a seasoned attendee or considering your first event, this episode is packed with insights to make your next hotel takeover unforgettable!

 

00:00
honesty is the best policy well the other the other one uh I’ve used is we’re meeting so and so uh downstairs in 10 minutes so we have to go and then we go down there and meet so and so then we bring them up to the room oh is that is that right that’s right hey guys it’s John and Jackie of
00:25
openlove101.com Welcome to our show let start off by reminding you to please sign up to open love 101 here on the YouTube channel click the Blue Bell to be notified of our upcoming videos and you can go to open Lev 101.com and sign up for our email list there you’ll be
00:44
notified of events we have coming up blogs and videos etc etc etc today what are we talking about Jacqueline today we’re going to talk about hotel takeovers hotel takeovers and we’re going to kind of slide in some Hotel takeover SLC conventions those are kind of the same but kind of different so
01:08
we’re going to talk about for sure all of that and I have my trusty notes here from Courtney thanks Courtney for the uh notes so I can so I will stay on track I can be a squirrel um okay so what is a hotel takeover you know the one I’m most familiar with is probably
01:31
here in the Houston Market and it would be uh desires parties.com and they do three a year and they’re like weekend long events uh theirs are themed around music although it’s geared towards people in the lifestyle um and then people might go play in their rooms or something like that but
01:55
they have different room set up with DJs and different types of music playing and by the pool and that would be a hotel takeover a convention might be a little bit longer it could be a weekend long convention but there you might find more speakers and products for sale classes
02:10
things like that yeah yeah and and a hotel takeover is when a a business you know that’s within the lifestyle they partner with a hotel and they sell all the rooms to people that are in the lifestyle or within that community so there’s nobody from outside of the you
02:34
know there’s no families at the hotel there’s no you know business people at the hotel it’s strictly they completely close it off it almost becomes a private venue at that point and uh typically they’re over a weekend but some of them can be much longer they can be a whole
02:54
week and those are normally more convention style and those are more there’s also some that are smaller just one night hotel takeovers where they just are getting a bunch of people together in a hotel they might have a dance during the night and then people can they may have playrooms they may not
03:07
but it’s really more about getting people together in the same place right and it it it is a great way to gather people from the community in which people live in order to kind of hang out get to know each other maybe people come from out of town that way they can visit
03:25
the location you know the city that it’s in cuz we have them all over the country I mean they’re everywhere they’re going on all the time and and you know you can you can find these hotel takeovers or these conventions by going on some of the adult social sites um where parties
03:46
and clubs post listings of events that they have and you can kind of get on a kind of a mailing list for that and be notified um a lot of times clubs will partner with these as well and so you can kind of find out information maybe on even Club sites about hotel takeovers that
04:08
are coming up um or just Google like in your area are there any swinger takeover parties coming up or anything yeah I think what you said the main thing is probably on the adult social sites we promote a couple um there’s another one that’s uh around the country called
04:23
Splash that’s really big um it does have some seminars we’ve spoken at at that event EV uh pool parties and nighttime entertainment uh you also find in some areas where there’ll be um selling items people might use uh different types of clothing sexy bathing suits uh BDSM
04:46
equipment maybe jewelry uh clothing that’s geared more towards swinger messages maybe or poly messages or BDSM messages you know so it’s a great way to add to your wardrobe as well but what makes a hotel takeover different from other lifestyle events it’s in a hotel is it I mean different than so I
05:12
mean you have different types of Lifestyle events or where they take place it could be on a cruise ship it could be a villa in in Italy it could be a hotel in the United States or somewhere else in the world it could be at a club it could be a house party so those are the main types of lifestyle of
05:30
events that there are it really just has to do about where the venue is that it’s taking place the cool thing about a hotel takeover is everyone that attends is going to be staying the night there in that hotel and you may have a chance to meet them at dinner or breakfast or
05:43
by the pool uh so there’s there’s going to be you know more time you’re able to spend with someone at a hotel takeover than say at a club yeah where you’re just going to be spending a few hours right yeah yeah and then you don’t have to worry about getting in your
06:01
car you just you can just stay at the hotel for however long that you want to now preparing for a hotel takeover so what do you need to bring yeah I think that’s going to depend upon this the type that we’re talking about here if it’s just going to be a one night it’s a
06:20
it’s really a party at a hotel for one night if it’s a weekend long event or a weekl long event which would be more like a a lifestyle convention at that point and number one a lot of these have theme nights no most of them have theme nights so you really got to find out what the that
06:40
theme night is is it is it devil and Angels or is it going to be a pirate theme for superheroes yeah I mean it can be anything and everything that’s the one thing people in the lifestyle love costumes yes you probably need one suitcase if it’s more than one night
06:57
just for your costumes and your makeup and your shoes Andes and bathing suits if you want to do bathing suit changes so all of those things be sure when you’re looking at the at the flyer the online flyer for the for the hotel takeover event that you look at the themes and you can decide not everyone
07:14
dresses in theme but I know some events uh where people are all out 90% of people dress in theme and if they are if it’s like that it is a lot of fun to dress in theme Jackie and I have done some we’ve had so much fun getting costumes together for those events much fun and sometimes if you are
07:32
participating in a hotel takeover slash convention you know where they have vendors sometimes those vendors will be there specifically because they are selling outfits that will fit the theme night so you can add to and a lot of times they’ll have makeup artists so you
07:51
know you can take advantage of that as well what expectations well there’s more to bring I’m all done with that oh you’re not we’re not done we’re not done I mean that just covered the costumes that did just cover the costumes some Hotel takeovers there’s quite a few where you have to buy your
08:12
alcohol at the hotel so when the promoter is putting together the package with the hotel they have a deal with the hotel that they s certain yeah so it’s important you don’t try and what not to bring don’t bring alcohol if you’re supposed to be buying the drinks there
08:28
it’s really important to support the motor that way he needs to hit that number he’s going to be hit with a an extra or he’s not going to be able to do them yeah yeah so if if if not enough people drink or eat then there’s going to be an additional charge to the
08:42
promoter he’s going to have to pay right so it’s important to support your whoever the promoter is and not trying to sneak stuff in there that’s a it wasn’t something to bring but it’s something definitely not to bring um you know make sure you bring enough clothes
08:55
for the event if you’re going to walk around if for instance it’s in New Orleans and you want to walk around town make sure you have uh you know the attire to do that that’s not at the uh you know it’s not not themed and then maybe I don’t know maybe some toys oh
09:12
well isn’t that funny how I just assume that’s a given yes toys condoms you know any of those kind of lube play geared activities you know you want to make sure and sometimes at at these you have to dress differently if you’re going to go into play areas like pajamas
09:32
or lingerie so you want to make sure that you have yeah check that you you just you have to just read the information that the convention or the hotel takeover puts out to make sure that you have everything um that you need then depending on the hotel depend you know how how late they serve dinner
09:52
I’m going to probably want to bring some snacks because if we’re staying out if we’re doing something late night you know playing late or something like that when I get back back the room I’m going to want like a power bar or something uh we have a back we usually have a
10:05
backpack that’s just full of all kinds of stuff fruit and yeah fruit candy bars chips all that kind of stuff cuz yeah that’s that is going to happen anything else as far as what to bring yeah yeah you need to check and see if the hotel has hair dryers if they don’t you make sure you bring a hair
10:23
dryer in your straightener and you’re curling iron um some of the hotels where I’ve seen these are you you know probably two star hotels they may not have that stuff in the rooms if it’s a more upscale Hotel they probably have that kind of stuff available you may not
10:38
have to bring it um nicer hotels will have robes if you’re into robes other ones may not you like robes and slippers for sure I can’t think of anything else courney can you think of anything you take to a hotel I would check to make sure uh that the pool is nude or not yeah that’s a
10:55
good point sometimes you got to you know maybe wear the bottoms or the top there topless sometimes it can be nude and a lot of times it’s fully clothed so or you know bathing suits yeah yeah yeah yeah sunglasses sunscreen all that kind of fun stuff um what expectations should
11:13
you have for a hotel takeover we love that word expectation don’t we we love expectations I mean I wouldn’t have any I would just uh go there and hopefully you know put yourself out there meet some people hear some great music if it’s more of a convention style you know see some great speakers learn
11:35
something about the lifestyle or about something else you’re curious about BDSM um get a suntan if it’s raining you they’ll probably have to bring bring whatever was planned Outside Inside and so uh yeah that’s it I would just really keep my expectations low and just look
11:53
to have a good time with your partner and see what happens you know it’s been my experience with all of the hotel takeovers and all of the conventions and all of these kind of things that we’ve participated in the best experiences that I’ve had at these is when I’ve had no
12:11
expectation because once you insert an expectation your entire drive your entire Focus shifts from just being able to enjoy yourself to some kind of goal that you’ve got to reach and the the likelihood for disappointment is much higher when you’re trying to attain
12:35
something you’re trying especially when it involves other people and you’re trying to um you start trying to control that environment instead of just enjoy let things be really organic and just kind of happen if as they happen that way it just becomes a bonus like you
12:53
said to the to the weekend or the the night you know you’re getting a chance to just do something kind of fun dress up have a good time be with your partner be with your friends um and then if something happens it’s it’s just like oh look at that look at this thing that happen so we’re we’re not huge
13:13
proponents of walking into something with any kind of an expectation and the other thing too I missed is there are some Hotel takers that are out of the country there are and so in that Cas you need to make sure you have your Visa if you need one your passport uh stuff that
13:27
you’re going to use for traveling long as out of the country and then those are actually a lot of fun because then you get to see a new place new Countryside new people yeah and you can do research too um on those and sometimes even those hotel takeovers or conventions will have
13:44
outings you know that maybe they’ve set up or that they you have options to maybe purchase additional outings or whatever I know we’ve rented boats when we’ve gone out of the country in toured areas ziplining zip line yeah that was great because I had no expectation of that that’s right what
14:04
should you talk about with your partner before attending a hotel takeover so I think that’s like anytime you’re going with your partner if you haven’t been in the lifestyle for very long it’s just really important to make sure you have your boundaries established you communicate about you
14:21
know where your limits are what you what you plan Jackie and I like really like having positive boundaries so they’re not really boundaries they’re like this is what I want to see you do while we’re there and she would say to me this is what I would like to see you do and then
14:34
you kind of like work towards that goal definitely talk about that and if you plan on going to dances so you can be prepared for those types of things what else Jackie well I know for instance you and I we don’t have a problem playing separately so we just make sure that we
14:49
reaffirm like that’s going to be okay it’s not going to be a big deal if we’re if we’re out by the pool at a night party and we’re dancing around and enjoying ourselves and something start starts happening with somebody else we know enough to say Hey you know I’ll be
15:04
back in a little bit and the other we know our partner’s going to be fine with that just as long as we let the other person know so that they’re not like what happened to my partner where are they should I be concerned um you know so just making sure that you’ve discussed you know kind of what you’re
15:22
okay with and you know like you said like what you would like to see happen or and then you know you can even talk about what the theme nights are you guys going to dress up are you not going to dress up but you know so that cuz a lot of times I will dress up for every
15:40
single solitary thing and you’re like I am so not doing that I’m wearing my jeans and my t-shirts so you know just make sure that you have those conversations then we talked about this should you plan for extra activities outside of the hotel takeover you know city tours sight scen definitely if
15:57
you’re going someplace new I mean I you and I would do that if we went some we would try and see some things that aren’t really on the agenda for the hotel takeover and do some exploring and we may like you’d mentioned renting a boat we rented a boat a couple times
16:11
with some hotel takeovers in uh Mexico yeah and uh took friends with us and explored different areas were fun yeah and then at the hotel takeover so you finally are there how do you talk to other attendees I mean it’s like anything when you’re in a social environment where you don’t
16:35
know people if you know people I mean start with them um otherwise you just I don’t you walk around and say hi you know introduce yourselves you find people that you think you connect with at least visually and you go from there and uh if there’s no place to sit ask
16:52
people if you can join them there’s many many times in hotel takeovers where we’ll sit at a a big eight seat table and just random people will join us and that’s a great way to meet people just uh be one of the first ones down there or if you walk down late find you know
17:09
sit with people that you don’t know and meet them that way well and most of the time Hotel takeovers I mean not all of the time but most of the time they’re they’re kind of geared around pool you know the the warmer weather so we can you have more options of what to wear
17:25
and the pool is just a great place you know whether you’re lounging around the pool or in the pool and you know I feel like I just have to put this out there it’s you don’t have to talk about anything different than you would talk to anybody about anything I mean just because it is a a life
17:46
style Gathering doesn’t mean that there’s some kind of secret coding discussions that we’re having we’re still talking about what do you do for work is this the first time you’ve been to one of these how many other ones have you been to how long have you guys been
17:60
married do you have kids you know I mean then those conversations just start to feed off of that you know oh I work here oh I know somebody that does that oh I’m retired no no yeah so it’s just it’s very organic it’s just it’s easy it’s not as difficult as we think you don’t have to
18:24
walk into an area and a lifestyle thing and just be like so are we going to all have sex with each other I mean that’s just not going to be the first thing that happens I mean it might be the first thing you say but yeah not normally that’s and then planning your day at the hotel takeover
18:42
those are usually usually the hotel takeover kind of has a a loose plan available like they have breakfast available in the you know in the restaurant from this time to this time and then you know we’re going to be at the pool or we’ve got this party starting at this time or the vendors are
18:59
going to be open from this time to this time so yeah so just pay attention to that and then uh should you talk to your partner about boundaries at the event which I think you and I have already we’ve already always sit back and talk about how you want to maybe expand the boundaries while you’re
19:17
there and it can that can be a great place to do that because again you’re going to be around people that have either been in the lifestyle a very long time or other people that are new um and so you kind of run the gamut of being able to have those discussions with people and sometimes it’s really
19:36
great especially if you’re new or it’s the first time that you’ve been to one to kind of connect with somebody who’s been to them a lot or they’ve been in the lifestyle a lot and they can kind of almost be like a mentor right right to uh you know maybe trying some things
19:52
especially if you feel as though you can trust them and maybe you can you know try out some things with another couple that maybe you feel comfortable with yeah hotel takeovers are great and then I got a question on YouTube from one of our uh subscribers yeah uh and they had
20:10
been to a hotel takeover where they didn’t have playroom so if you were going to play you had to play in their room and their question was how do we get the couple to leave when we’re done playing if they if they over stay they’re welcome and I’m thinking in that situation I
20:31
would be turning to you and be like take care of this yeah you would I I would be I mean I know what I do is i’ be like hey guys we’ve had a great time you’re amazing we can’t wait to do this again we are beat and we have an early morning um would you guys mind so we can go to sleep yeah
20:53
and that’s it night night kiss kiss see you Manana exactly I mean you just got to tell them how it is you know it’s time for bed well that’s kind of that where honesty is the best policy well the other the other one uh I’ve used is we’re meeting so and so uh downstairs in
21:12
10 minutes so we have to go and then we go down there and meet so and so then we bring them up to the room oh is that is that right that’s right but anyway just uh you know be polite and I think going to bed is probably the best one I mean it’s probably the most common
21:30
anything else on there Jacqueline no I think that I think that probably covers everything unless you can think of something else that we’ve left out well on our uh email for this particular video we list a couple of Hotel takeovers uh a link to desires parties.com and they also have uh uh a
21:49
brand that has traveling hotel takeovers trips uh Splash which is here throughout the United States in nauy nins which is a really big convention new can links and then also weote some of those through uh through ads specific events so be sure and check those out as
22:08
well and then once again sign up for our email list at open Lev 1101.com and you’ll receive that information uh just fill out the form give us your email and boom we’ll send you the stuff that uh we think you might be interested in it was great thanks Jackie see you see you so did you like
22:26
that video then be sure and click on that subscribe button below and you’ll be guaranteed great sex the rest of your life

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