Have you ever had your routine interrupted, and instead of fighting it you simply go with the flow? I recently encountered such a scenario on what I thought would be the most routine of days. What was I thinking? Swingers’ days are rarely routine.

The day started off pretty much the same as most. John was up first and started the coffee. I woke, made the bed and joined him in the living room. Everything about the day was unfolding as expected—I worked, ran errands, took breaks, went back to work, broke for lunch, back to work—pretty standard stuff.

Then I noticed John doing something outside the norm. He was sitting in a portion of our home we don’t normally sit in. It struck me as so odd that I found myself joining him. As we sat in the room talking, he leaned over and gave me a kiss.

It was all the encouragement I needed to veer off course and indulge in the sweetness of the moment. The energy increased to the point at which we naturally gravitated towards the bedroom. I laid back on the bed and let myself relax in the moment.

If there’s one thing I could teach women, it would be to embrace every moment of pleasure; to view sex as a vehicle to intimacy, health, centeredness and bonding—a way to meditate; to let the stresses of the day take a back seat to the regenerative qualities an orgasm produces. Not only will sex make you feel better, it will cultivate a loving environment.

I decided right then and there to close my eyes and focus not so much on the thinking part of how my husband was touching me but on the way his touch felt. I allowed myself to be free of time and deadlines and experience the pleasure within me. I connected with each breath, taking note of the different sensations my body cultivated, depending on whether I inhaled or exhaled. I didn’t shy away from the sun soaked room either, but basked in the rays of warmth as I lay exposed to my husband. There was an ease in what was happening, nothing hurried, just two people fully connected in the present.

John and I hugged and kissed and held each other. I tilted my head back in ecstasy as my muscles contracted deep inside me. At times our love making was soft and tender; at others powerful and full of raw emotion. We took each other to the edge of orgasm and then gently pulled back.

In the midst of this passion something caught my attention. Was I feeling more than one set of hands on me? I became aware that John and I were no longer alone. While I was kissing and being kissed by my husband, someone else was showering my body with kisses as well.

The intimacy was explosive! I was being pleasured in tandem! Unbeknownst to me, John had scheduled this whole interlude in advance, with a man who would become one of my dear friends.

This rendezvous could’ve gone in a completely different direction had I become overburdened with thinking about what was happening. I let go and didn’t think about it. I went with it. I opened myself up to feeling the entire experience. No second guessing, no worries about how I looked, no over thinking…I just relaxed and said yes.

I’ve thought about my encounter with my surprise threesome partner many times since the initial meeting. He and I have had several other moments together, and I’ve come to cherish each and every one, but the first will always be the most memorable.

I was so touched by my husband’s generosity and act of compersion in introducing this man into our lives and our relationship. John has been such a mentor to me and an incredible teacher in all things loving. He’s taught me that when we learn to let go of our “attachment” of others and focus instead on our connections with each other we can become more open to allowing people to touch our lives.

It’s about bonding and protecting and caring and concern for each other, no matter who that “other” is. I’ve seen my life explode with so many wonderful people—people I’ve come to bond with and care for and love.

To me this is what life’s all about. It’s about being there for each other. It’s about letting go. It’s about growing and learning and teaching, but most importantly, it’s about love.