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How We Deal With Discrimination in Our Swingers Lifestyle

By December 4, 2018 January 6th, 2019 Swing Lifestyle Videos

A reader asked us if we’ve ever been discriminated for our choice of boldly living the swinger lifestyle.

The answer is…. YES!

And you may have been too.

It can be an unfortunate aspect of being openly swingers, but we take it as an opportunity to educate others about the misconceptions, why it works for us, and the benefits we enjoy.

Let’s continue the conversation and discuss this hidden gem!

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6 Comments

  • Michael says:

    Excellent information! You two are the best ambassadors for this lifestyle and we are glad to have found your site.

    Thanks for all the time and work it talks to put your site information and videos together. Very much appreciated!

  • Hi Jackie and John!

    This is always our dilemma in a conservative (Prudish Puritan?) society, huh? Most of the time — outside of known events/meets — I do not divulge my Lifestyles (Open-Swinger & SSC BDSM) to strangers, employers or coworkers, or etc. until a later more appropriate time has freely, comfortably developed. This is my own process based on my encounters with new acquaintences primarily in the South and Southwest U.S. Everyone and every region/culture is different. I can’t accurately detect those differences UNTIL I honestly get to know them. Right there is one of the first forks in the road: You can choose the path to the mine-field OR you can choose the path called TBD, “To Be Determined” over some period of time. Personally, I think anything in life and relationships can and should be explored relative to a couple’s stability, trust, raw honesty, and longevity earned to merit those four vital components or pillars in our Lifestyles.

    The problem or obstacle we often face is society’s naivety (and fear?) of people and couples being proactively open about their thoughts, feelings, desires, and curiosity with others, especially their partner/spouse. Ironically and for some weird strange reason many (millions?) have serious hangups or premature fears of being very, very naturally human. We Homo sapiens, we humans have a deep desire and curiosity for meaningful, impactful connections that last either months, years, or entire lifetimes! It is nothing to be ashamed about!

    Unfortunately, mainstream timid society who ironically have NEVER been inside our Lifestyles for a lengthy period of time — most of the time in the beginning of exploration there are more mistakes, disasters, mishaps, than there are successes and victories — prefer to discriminate against life-choices that do not abide by (their) traditional norms. One of those valid fears is “being labelled abnormal” or different than the crowd. It does take courage to go against the crowd, to risk being unfairly judged.

    The reward for being a different drummer? Being true to self! Not modifying or editing a single thing with your partner/spouse in the least. As Paolo Coelho profoundly states:

    Telling the truth and making someone cry is better than telling a lie to make them smile.

    Feelings are temporary and change/heal over time, UNLESS one abuses them constantly. Be honestly raw, be proactive in your communications. People deserve that… especially your partner/spouse!

    Another excellent vlog Jackie and John!

    • RickE82 says:

      America was created with the Puritan lifestyle….unfortunate…the majority of Americans have not advanced in the lifestyle…the new Millennium seems to be more accepting to the to all lifestyles… in order to accept all lifestyles…a person must have an open mind…and be confident with who they are…male bisexual…seems to be the latest taboo…with the belief…that male is either heterosexual or gay…why can’t man both enjoy both genders and not be discriminated…

  • NickandDebby says:

    People fear what they dont understand. But thanks to you two and others that are open in the lifestyle the tide may be changing as more and more people learn about the lifestyle.
    Debby and I agree with you and hope to educate as people as we can about how wonderful it can be for your relationship.

    Maybe in our lifetime we will get to see a society that accepts swingers over cheaters.

  • John says:

    I’m sorry to hear you’ve had that problem. I guess we’ve been lucky and careful, it hasn’t happened to us. We only come out to people we’re pretty sure will be OK with it. We’ve had house parties for as many as 80 people — mostly couples who show up carrying zipper top bags and potluck food. The neighbors either haven’t figured it out or don’t mind. It’s been over 20 years, and so far secret keeping seems to be working.

    — J.S.

  • Nora says:

    To make a change in society’s perseption of the lifestyle, as many as possible have to be open about it.
    I was scared to open up to family, friends and collegues for a long time, but honestly, when I am, I have only been met with curiosity and praise. Some are even jealous, saying “I wish I could live like that..” Some still don’t understand it, but at least they understand the joy I get out of it, and perhaps more importantly, that there ofcourse are moral standards. So many vanillas don’y fully grasp the concept of consent. Or the depth of communication necessary to make it work.
    As Jackie says, it is so much easier to explain your lifestyle when you youself know exactly why you choose to live like you do. If you feel ashamed of it, it will not do you any good being open.
    Once you know this is the right relationshipmodel or lifestyle for you, and can give legit reaons for your choices, then it is much easier to be open as well.

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