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Dealing With Fear And Jealousy In Open Relationships

By June 20, 2017 August 14th, 2017 Swing Lifestyle Videos

Does your partner get jealous when you hang out with the opposite sex? How do you grow past that in your open relationship?

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  • Ahhh, the dreaded “F-word” and “J-word” of our lifestyle(s). Hahaha. A great continuation on this issue you two!

    The point-of-view of an unpredicted circumstance often dictates HOW a person will experience — at least in the beginning — that event. BUT that isn’t all of it! And Jackie, you brought up the Cup is Half-full perspective vs. Half-empty, especially in the context of compersion.

    As I think we veterans in the lifestyle(s) are a bit more intune with… that “love” is equally as precious, exspansive, and deep when it is GIVEN… as well as received. It should always be a thriving, fluid, two-way street, yes!? In my humble experience, those F- and J-words are frequently centered on SELF rather than the whole, the couple, and its ever morphing changing needs and growth through time, family, children, and careers to name just four.

    Additionally, using as an analogy all the many plethora of foods (vitamins, minerals, etc.) our entire bodies require to not just survive, but to remain healthy and thriving, we all require MORE THAN ONE fruit or vegetable or food group to be the healthiest we can be. Why wouldn’t this apply with human interactions? In my own personal opinion, it would be utterly FOOLISH of me to think I/me am a sexual demi-god — out of some 7.5-billion+ people on Earth, over one-third (more?) of them male — that I alone can provide every single mental, emotional, sexual, and spiritual need/desire my partner/spouse could ever imagine… 24/7, 365-days, for the rest of our lives! HAH! To me, that’s a ridiculous mentality. We all need more than one form of sustenance to be healthy and thriving fully loving and being loved human beings. So what mentality do I take? What can I learn? Learn better? About myself? My partner/spouse? That we didn’t even have a CLUE about before we got “real” with others?

    I really REALLY don’t mean that reasoning to sound harsh, just realistically raw, pragmatic in order to be liberated and to liberate! To me, that’s what makes us humans beautiful, imaginitive, loving, sexy, passionate, laughing, wiser, more whole… living a truly “LIVED LIFE” deeply connected… with several/many!

    Again, this is indeed my own thinking and point-of-view, and I’m certainly NOT perfect much of the time! Hahaha!

    Great stuff Jackie and John!

    • Jackie Melfi says:

      Dear Professor Taboo,

      Demi-god…I absolutely love this! You have hit the nail on the head using this description. You bring up a great point in that we thrive only when there is balance and variety…another point I love. I always look forward to your thoughts and comments. You bring yet another vantage point in which to view this amazing relationship model. Thanks again!

      • Aww, you are very kind Jackie. Thank you. However, I MUST turn the teaching and praise BACK to you! You and John encourage this type of healthy learning, exploring, reflection, examining, and (highly probable) slaying of those F- and J-word imaginary dragons! So really the credit goes back to you and John!

        Warmest wishes to you both.

    • Andre says:

      How do I get my wife to open up to the idea of swinging

  • Catherine says:

    Just a comment….Thank you for insight….I’m relatively new to this…about a year now! Started out as single woman but have a lifestyle partner now…we are building the foundation. I really believe at core people are not monogamous…however as a result I’m a product of our culture BUT I consider myself a student and love reading your blog and listening to your videos. They are very knowledgeable and helpful…..I feel I continue to grow. Plus I’m thankful for patient partner.
    Keep up the good work….Jackie I read most of the books you recommend!!!!

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