My wife and I always talk about having a third play partner and I’m very excited about it but she holds back when I ask her about going to a swingers club, any advice about how to convince her?
Excited To Visit A Club
The last thing you want to do is make the suggestion of going to a CNM (consensually non monogamous) club seem more like a debate where you’re trying to “convince” a partner into attending. This can end up feeling more like coercion instead of a unilateral decision by the two of you.
If you’ve had conversations about attending a club, and nerves are taking over, then I would suggest watching one of our video’s about attending a club, reading one of my blogs or visiting a club website and viewing the interior, reading through the guidelines, and going over the general information about the club together.
Unfortunately, there is still a lot of stigma out there about going to a “swingers” club. I know for me, I was extremely nervous the first time I went to one. What I can tell you is I was completely surprised and almost a little embarrassed by all the crazy thoughts I had about attending. What I did find were dozens of amazing couples who only wanted to make the most of the relationship they were in with their partner.
Over the years I’ve made incredible friendships and have had some amazingly in depth conversations about how and why CNM works for so many couples.
John and Jackie Melfi are in a consensually non monogamous marriage. They have been featured in ABC News Nightline Special Report “Getting Naughty In N’awlins”, Inside a New Orleans Swingers Convention, and CNN “This Is Life” with Lisa Ling. The Melfis are the force behind the industry famous colette swingers clubs in New Orleans, Dallas, Houston, and Austin. With over 20 years of combined experience, this powerhouse couple coaches thousands of singles and couples through their award winning blog Openlove101.com.