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Rules & Boundaries in Swinger Relationships – Part 1

By October 17, 2017 October 24th, 2017 Swing Lifestyle Videos

Before getting into the swingers lifestyle (or if you’re already walking down that path), it’s important to establish rules and boundaries with your partner so that everyone is clear and comfortable with experiences together. But how do you go about it? Where do you start? What are some boundaries to have?

When you’re done with this Part 1 video, be sure to check out Part 2 here!

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  • Catherine says:

    Good info….thank you. Love the safe word/signal idea to incorporate for a couple. I’ll be sharing with my partner….look forward to part two….psssst you two are so cute in the after thought video

  • John/Jackie,

    You two are exceptional in sharing articulation techniques and ideas of how better to communicate openly with each other and other swingers as well as better understanding one’s self. This series is ANOTHER feather in your stellar hats! Three cheers for John & Jackie! (wink)

    If I may humbly toss out one particular preemptive tool me and my partners have successfully utilized in the lifestyle, others may find it or a version of it helpful for them.

    I call it the “Encounters Pyramid.” Me and my partners would utilize it during those times we were both apart and not immediately available to talk or text. This preemptive understanding would be used when proactive communication was NOT possible. Imagine an upside down pyramid. And Jackie, I can email you the diagram image if you’d like so to visually see what I’m sharing here.

    Along the lefthand side of the upside down pyramid is a scale of the “Passage of Time.” At the very top of the scale (the fat biggest part of the pyramid) is “<= 1 hour" (less than or equal to 1-hour). Moving down this scale to the bottom (the tip of the inverted pyramid) is “> 24-hours” (greater than 24-hours). At the top of the diagram, the breath/width of the inverted pyramid, is “Greater Relational & Sexual Benefits Over Time” with a footnote under that of “Very Proactive!”

    Down at the bottom of the diagram, at the tip of the inverted pyramid, is “Least Benefits & More Consequences” with a footnote under saying “Secretive, deceiving?” and the “Zero Hour.”

    The purpose of the diagram is to allow each of us a window of time (while physically apart; hours or miles away) to proactively tell the other that they have encountered a person they are pretty attracted to both sexually and mentally-emotionally and MIGHT foresee something happening within a short amount of time. We found this system to be quite flexible for each other’s social-lives while simultaneously bonding us together stronger. Granted, it certainly requires a stable amount of (earned?) trust in each other. But on the flipside too, it offers the freedom to PROVE one’s integrity and trustworthyness. Naturally, couples can tweak this Encounters Pyramid to their comfort levels.

    Thoughts Jackie/John?

    • Jackie Melfi says:

      Professor Taboo,

      My take on this suggestion is, “absolutely!” I think anytime you find a system that works for you and your partner(s) then it should be utilized. For you to take the time to share this option with our readers is another reason why I am so impassioned by this lifestyle. This coming together with our ideas and opinions. Everyone sharing…this is how we grow.
      Thank you,

      • Yes, yes, YES! The environment our lifestyle creates goes well beyond the conventional relationship model and IMO envigorates the human spirit to be and become all it can be, unleashing the beauty in all of us together!

        I’ll email the “Encounters Pyramid” to you shortly Jackie. (thumbs up & warm smile)

        Hugs XOXO

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